Sep 12, 2011

Ask Me, Now with Answers

Below are some random questions a couple of you asked awhile back via the Comments.  Time for answers, inquiring minds want to know.

Cari asked:

Q:  Do you consider yourself a strict parent? What does Pigtails' say on the subject?

A:  I'm generous with discipline and love.  It's a balance, I firmly believe you need both.

I've found that if you nip problems in the bud early when the brat is two or three years old, wild child is fairly well behaved by the time they hit four and five.  Pigtails is a peach most of the time (may take a mulligan on that statement when she's a teen).  She knows her boundaries, feels loved, and I think this strongly contributes to her being confident and happy.

Q:  You seem like a very hands on Dad (no choice as a single parent I know). Has being a single parent nurtured that, or, have you always been hands on?

A:  I've always been hands on.  I love babies, kids, wish I had five or six of 'em.  My primary purpose on this green Earth is to be a good daddy.  I'd be missing out on the best part of life if I wasn't a hands on father!

Q:  What is the biggest misconception about being a single dad vs. single mom?

A:  I think many people assume the mother should get primary custody in a divorce.  I encourage dads to stand up for their rights and FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!  Choose your attorney carefully.  Fire them and find another of they don't have the balls to duke it out for you.

There are some that think a dad can't handle doing it all on his own.  I'm getting it done, and Pigtails has not lost even a single limb. 

Q:  Do you have any pets?

A:  Nope, not even a cat.  ;-)  I'd go out and adopt a Border Collie right now if I lived on an acreage and could let him run free.  The thought of a scrappy little 40 pounder panting beside on a gravel run out in the boonies is something I very much want.  I can't wait to get out of the city and build a small home in the countryside.  May never happen, but we can all dream.

Q:  How tall ARE you?

A:  5'11".

Q:  What was prison like?

A:  The Perky Noodle Bake was not bad.  And if you drop a bar of soap, leave it be.

Q:  Does Pigtails have an agent (if Pigtails is even her real name)?

A:  Does an insurance agent  count?

DSMama asked:

Q:  How did you figure out how to do Pigtail's hair when she was little? My husband struggles trying to put our daughter's hair in a little ponytail and it makes me giggle.

A:  Ah, the classic dad/daughter bouffant question.  I'll write a post about this sometime.   Can't say there's never been tears (perhaps by both of us) trying to tame that wild mop top.  Detangler and ponytails, FTW.

Q:  When did you start running?

A:  Started running in high school back in 1991.  I was decent and the only person on the cross country team to qualify for state.  Also ran the mile and two mile at state and was in the top 12 in both.  Coach Hoffman was always there pushing me, wearing his Daisy Duke blue polyester shorts.  

Q:  Did you really have headgear? Photos please. I had braces FOREVER but no headgear. My brother had a retainer that he had to crank once a week that we later found out was basically splitting the roof of his mouth open. Gag.

A:  Yes, I had headgear twice, braces three times, rubberbands and a myriad of retainers.

Let's just say I was a chick magnet.

I also wore the retainer from hell with the key you mention, split the roof of my mouth to correct a bucky-the-horse overbite problem.  No pics, mom wasn't the best at keeping them safe and 99% of my childhood photos rotted in a damp basement.  :-(

Q:  Obviously you take hiking trips and perhaps the random marathon without the lil' one but do you take time for yourself in other ways?

A:  No, not really.  I have Pigtails 90% of the time.  When she's not with me, I'm either exhausted or banging on fix-it-up house projects.  I need a vacation.

Q:  And, I'll ask - do you date?!?!? 

A:  I have a close friend, Curls.

Thanks for being easy on me, Cari and DSMama!


  1. Yes, those were easy, and clearly, I should've been tougher! However, nice answers!

    "I'd be missing out on the best part of life if I wasn't a good father."

    Well said. It's a shame more parents don't get that. It's good to hear Pigtails is still in one piece!

    I'm in agreement that Dads/men are just as capable of raising children as Moms/women. The court systems view on parental rights is very skewed. It's unfortunate that some parents are accepting of it and give up with out trying.

    Perhaps I should've asked what you went to prison for? I'm assuming a white collar crime, but then again, you could be writing this blog from prison...just sayin'..."Beard".

    As much as I feel Pigtails should have an agent, and buy you your little house in the country, I wouldn't want her to go down the Hannah Montana road. Disney darling one year, dressing like a hooker the next. No, safe bet to just stay with the insurance.

    All I can say about the braces and headgear is that I'm sorry, and I hope you've recovered from the trauma.

  2. Rachael9/13/2011

    Why do I love this blog when 1) I don't have kids and 2) I don't want kids? Because you guys are real - as real as real can be. You're a good guy (I can tell) and you've been busy making lemonade when a whole truckload of lemons got dropped on your head. I love people who have faith and humor and intelligence and you, Mr. Beardman, have all of these in abundance. And your kid aint' so bad either.

  3. Thanks, Cari and Rachael! (notice I didn't answer the prison question) And Rachael, I'm writing out your check for $19.95 now...

  4. Head gear stinks... I only had to ear it at night for 6 months and I thought my life was over. Turns out is wasn't.

    My dad did my hair all the time - he could braid. Dads rock. Being a parent is most definitely the best part of life.

    BTW - I would love some discipline advice for a strong willed daughter who laughs in my face at time outs. (Remembering she is not yet two.)

  5. Anonymous9/19/2011

    as Beards only sister I can sit back and laugh at most of these. The thing about the headgear, yes he wore it, embarred his cool sister all over the mall, Beard got all the attention, all the stares...
    As for doing Pigtails hair, both Nana and I do Pigtails hair a different way everytime she comes down. Sometimes Beard likes them, sometimes he doesn't.
    I do believe you do have pets sometimes. I remember Pigtails taking home a fuzzy catipillar last fall from our home named "coco". Whether or not Coco became a beautiful moth or not, I do not know. And what happened to the hermit crabs? M killed D? right?


Thanks for the note, check back for my response!