Oct 1, 2011

Single Parents, Get Your Geek On

What are you passionate about?

What makes your heart patter and pastes a grin you can't wipe off?

For me, it's running.  

I geek it.  
Dig it.  
Heart it.  

I fear many single moms and dads feel they can't pursue their passion due to the heavy workload that comes with not having a spouse.  

That's how I felt when first becoming a single dad at 27.  I was fist deep in diaper poo and doubt, afraid I wouldn't have time to run. 

The thought of not being able to do something that meant so much was painful.  Would Phelps be bummed if he couldn't pound laps in the pool? 

Single mom or dad, please try and carve out some time to pursue your passion.  It won't be easy.  It'll probably involve finagling your schedule and enlisting the help of friends, family, sitters, locking junior in a cage and a miracle.  But do it.  

We gotta get out there and live, figuring out creative ways to weave around the circumstances that are holding us back.

I'm thankful for an employer and boss who allow me a flexible schedule so I can sweat most of my workouts over lunch.  And people like my friend, Curls, who watches Pigtails on Saturday mornings so I can trot out longer marathon training runs.
Pigtails and Curls
Props to the Serious Coin Running Club (SCRC), who (or whom??) I run with each day.  They have been the one constant in my life when all else seems to be ever-changing or crumbling.

Six of us from the SCRC competed in a college cross country 8K this weekend.  Racing against larger teams that had up to 20 runners, we brought the heat and held our own against the young'uns.

Ryan, Brian, Greg, Andrew, Beard/Tank and Martin

Waiting for the gun, I hadn't run one of these off-road bloodbaths since high school


Brian and Martin tightening the screws on a coupla Drake runners

Burned like hell and I loved every minute of it

Single parents, get out there and get your geek on!



  1. First...gotta love kids in cages.
    Second...I do the lunch workout too but I don't run. I run only occasionally outside of work hours because it helps a lot with stress and anxiety.
    Last...you look great. And so does Pigtails and Curls. Great job on the cross country with the "young-uns", and great message for single parents in finding time for ourselves.

  2. I think this is an important message to those of us who are lucky enough to have a partner, as well. A lot of parent fall into the trap of thinking they have to give up their passions when they have kids.

    Also, totally beside the point, but since you kind of asked -- technically, the grammatically correct syntax would be "Props to the Serious Coin Running Club with whom I run each day." *shrug*

  3. The irony of this is that when parents, single or not, mom or dad, don't make time for themselves, they are less likely to be the best dad or mom they can be!

    Such truth in this post - MAKE THE TIME...FIND the time! You are serving your kids if you take care of yourself, too!

    No kid wants a martyr parent!

  4. I really am so very proud of my accomplishments, both as a mother and blogger. For the sake of the people, I will continue in my unfit ways. You're welcome.

    In all seriousness, I agree with you 100%. This is why the kids have an early bedtime so I can hop on the treadmill and follow it up with a geeky book that I can read uninterrupted. Keep fightin the good fight, homie.

  5. Single or not if you don't make time for yourself you run into serious risk of burnout and that doesn't help anyone.

  6. I really need to find what I am passionate about, I love photography but don't have a camera. I love woodworking but don't have a shop. instead i just bake cupcakes.
    it is important to find a passion, I guess I am still on the path to finding mine, but hell no will it ever be running :)

  7. Whilst this is definitely inspiring, it's just not possible for me. Not now, possibly not ever (as far as I can tell).
    For me, it's not so much a question of time - I have waaaaaaay too much of that (I work mainly from home, my girls are in school 8.5 hours a day, 4 days a week, and spend at least the afternoons at weekends with their dad, often more).
    No, for me, it's all about money. The bane of my life.
    I would love to learn to dance salsa or tango. It would get me out of the house, I might meet a few adults (maybe even - gasp! - a MAN) and I could wear a pretty dress and nice shoes. Sounds superficial, I know, but hey, I'm trying to keep my dreams in the realm of the possible here...
    But dance classes a) cost money and b) are often during the evenings. I have more debt than I can bear to think of and absolutely no means of paying for dance classes (I can barely pay my bills), and certainly no way of adding a babysitter into the mix (no family nearby, the girls' dad can't have them sleepover, no friends near enough for it to be workable because - of course - I don't drive/have a car).
    I dream of dancing, I imagine it happening, but fear that I'll have to wait till I'm old (older, I mean) before I can try it.
    But the dream IS still there. A tiny, tiny flicker, deep down inside me.

  8. EXCELLENT! Awesome post and so on point. I think this is not only an important message for Single Parents, but every parent. It's easy to get bogged down in the day to day, unfinished tasks and always putting ourselves last. But life is so much easier when we can make and take time for the things/people that make us smile! I think those passions are part of who we are, can't lose that. Also a valuable lesson to let our kids see us take time for ourselves, shows that WE are worth it. Nicely done!

    Erica...I'd like to order two kid cages please! :)

  9. @Christina - You are a ninja, so lunch workouts involve nunchucks and stuff. And I look good thanks to Botox.

    @Dustin - My English teacher, Mrs. Webb, would have much rather had you in her class than me.

    @Bruce - Agree, martyr parents are crabby parents.

    @Erica - Do the cages you sell for kids have the little hamster ball drink thingy? If so, I'd like one, please.

    @Jack - Right on, this post applies to all parents, single or not. Just that being a single parent is 74.5% more difficult when it comes to trying to figure out creative ways to carve out time for ourselves.

    @Claire - Cameras are cheap, you should save up, purchase, then pursue that passion.

    @Kirsty - I'll see if we can raise some $$ for you to take those dance lessons, we'll get you there.

    @Cari - Exactly.

  10. Being a single parent is not that easy that it sounds. Being a single parent one has to work hard as only one parent has to fulfill the need of both mother and father and also being a single parent you can't negotiate the need of your child and thus you have to give your time to your child and support him financially everywhere. So its really like a very difficult task being a single parent.

    1. Oh come on robot, free advertising for your website? Robots are spamming me again, time to get out the spray bottle.

  11. I totally agree with this. Passions may have to take a backseat for awhile, and there may be roadblocks, but it is important to keep that vision and work towards it. For me it is creating pottery and gardening.


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