Dec 23, 2011

Defending the Defenseless

And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.  - Luke 2:7

Mistletoe smooches and red-wrapped packages itch to be ripped.  Hot spiked cider ushers in Christmas cheer.  Alas, I'm kidless and alone this holiday, so I have time to ponder and write about a topic I'm passionate about. 

This post is dedicated to the millions of sons, daughters, mommies, daddies and grandparents that will never have the opportunity to celebrate a Christmas.  They will never be.

I recently submitted a comment response to an abortion post on the blog Becoming a Super Mommy.  The author chose not to publish my comment.  It'd be a waste for a thoughtful response to be snuffed out, so I'll post it up here.

The gist of Super Mommy's piece was a pro-choice essay on abortion.  She wrote her article in a respectful manner, without name-calling those that oppose her opinion.  I'm thankful for that, and enjoy discussing with people that don't try and sucker-punch me in the nuts.

The problem I have with Super Mommy's post is not that I disagree with her opinion, but rather the high number of factual errors she slipped in.  The point of my response was not to provide my opinion or say her thinking process is tarnished, but rather to correct inaccuracies so readers can make up their own opinion with accurate information. 

I won't make any friends with this post, but I don't care.  Let's go:

Dear Super Mommy,

Thanks for posting on this topic.  I enjoy reading an opposing view when it's well thought out and respectful, which is how you scribed your post. 

I'd like to correct a few inaccuracies in your article.  Some of your "facts" are flat wrong.  I'll do my best to deliver this in a respectful manner.  I'll put parts of your post in "bold quotes" below, followed by my responses. 

"I don't believe that an embryo is a person." 

Criminal law recognizes an embryo as a person.  Most state laws are written such that when a pregnant mother is murdered, the perpetrator is charged with double murder, regardless of how many weeks pregnant the mom is.   

"Let's talk about that word- choice...." 

You fail to mention the choice of the father.  Mothers alone are allowed to abort the baby, regardless of the choice of the father or the baby.  

You also say you don't believe a baby is human until about 20 weeks.  

You know that 1% of all abortions in this country are performed after 20 weeks (1), right?  And 1% works out to nearly 16,500 babies per year.  So in the past 30 years, that is nearly 500,000 "humans by your definition" that have been aborted.   Hundreds of thousands, no, MILLIONS of babies have been aborted that would choose life if they could speak.  To say that abortion should be the choice of the mother alone is a close-minded approach.  An open minded angle would allow the father and baby to have a say in it.  Since the baby can't speak, it's the duty of a civil and Godly society to protect those that are the most fragile and defenseless.

"There's a reason that abortion isn't mentioned in the Bible too directly- it was totally accepted.
God and I are firmly on the same side of the personhood issue.  If anything, I'm more pro-life than He is."

Um, you conveniently left out a large heap of Bible verses that hit on babies in the womb.  Unsure if you haven't read the Bible or are choosing to exclude verses that don't support your position.  Since your readers should read the truth, I'll fill in the blanks for their sake.  Below are a few verses, I can keep going if you'd like:
Did not he who made me in the womb make them? Did not the same one form us both within our mothers? (Job 31:15).
Yet you brought me out of the womb; you made me trust in you even at my mother's breast. From birth I was cast upon you; from my mother's womb you have been my God (Psalm 22:9-10).
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be (Psalm 139:13-16).
Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute (Proverbs 31:8).
Defend the weak and the fatherless;
uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed.
Rescue the weak and the needy;
deliver them from the hand of the wicked (Psalm 82:3-4).
Children are a heritage from the LORD,
offspring a reward from him (Psalm 127:3)
This is what the LORD says—he who made you, who formed you in the womb, and who will help you...(Isaiah 44:2).
Listen to me, O house of Jacob, all you who remain of the house of Israel, you whom I have upheld since you were conceived,
And now the LORD says—he who formed me in the womb to be his servant to bring Jacob back to him and gather Israel to himself, for I am honored in the eyes of the LORD and my God has been my strength (Isaiah 49:5).
          When Elizabeth heard Mary's greeting, the baby leaped in her womb... (Luke 1:41)
The word of the LORD came to me, saying, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations" (Jeremiah 1:4-5).

"First of all, it would be a miracle to women who want to have babies everywhere- one in three pregnancies end in early miscarriage."

Wrong, the correct answer is 20% (1 in 5) of pregnancies end in miscarriage (2).

"The vast majority of abortions occur within six weeks of conception."

Wrong.  Please be honest when stating your "facts".  The data doesn't support what you are saying.  The truth is 67% of all abortions are performed AFTER 6 weeks (1): 

Center for Disease Control abortion data from 2008:
6 weeks - 33%
7 weeks - 19.8%
8 weeks - 15%
9+ weeks - 32.2%

The US laws regarding adoption put so many protections in place for the birth parents that at almost any time, a family can simply lose their adopted child."

I agree with you that adoption is (in my opinion) overly expensive and a difficult thing to pull off, especially in the U.S.  Wish there was a way to do it with less red tape while also protecting, screening, and ensuring the children will be adopted by safe and loving families.  I respect those that take on children through foster care or adoption.  I am considering housing a foster child at some point, but it might be difficult to turn the knobs and make it happen being a single dad.

"A lot of people say that if you don't want to have a baby, you shouldn't have sex.  But that is nonsense.  Sex is a fundamental, basic need of most adults." 

Abstinence and self control are differentiators between humans and dogs.  We don't go around sniffing each others butts, and we have the ability to control sex.  I've chosen to refrain for 8 years since I'm living outside the covenant of marriage.  Not what I want to do, but I am choosing to do the right thing.  And I've also decided to not sniff any butts.

Final point, then I'll shut my cake hole.  Your last section gets to the gut of your post and your priorities: 

"Imagine working on your Ph.D. and being pregnant....should you give it all up in order to have a baby?"

Wow.  That's a bleak set of spectacles through which to view life.  You believe it an intrusive inconvenience to give up a Ph.D. to have a baby?  Help me understand how earning a degree > creating human life?  I would die for my daughter, let alone sacrifice a degree.

The very nature of parenthood is sacrifice.  My wish for mothers considering abortion is their hearts would be softened so they'll choose self sacrifice rather than forcing their son or daughter to pay the ultimate sacrifice.

As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. - Joshua 24:14 



  1. Thank you for your post. I find myself coming across this discussion more and more and am always suprized by that the inaccuracies that pro abortion people put forth. Thank you also for being a man. What I mean by that is that you have chosen to "keep it in your pants" even tough it is not easy. That is a TRUE man. What an awesome example you are making for your daughter of what a man in her life should be.

    Merry Christmas. I know that with your heart somewhere else it is hard.

    Thanks Again for calling out the liars and misguided.

  2. Great post. I believe and practiced abstinence outside of marriage (although it was a lot easier since I got married at 19). I decided a couple of years ago that I was going to be open with that fact because the rest of society is so open with sex, why not be open with abstinence? The surprising thing is the number of people who have applauded that when I thought they might laugh.

    I wish our society focused on what makes a good "nest" for babies to grow up in. Grad degrees are great, but they are a poor substitute for a dead child, on every level, including the "I want to sleep at night and not have anxiety" level.

    I agree with you on every point.

    And FWIW, I think there are women out there who believe exactly what you believe and with your passion.

    Merry Christmas.

  3. Beard, glad you posted your response. Nice job. I hate when bloggers don't post comments they don't agree with or those which do not support their argument. It is their blog, but if you are going to write on controversial topics, you need to be able to take the heat and stand by your words. Maybe that's why I write about cheese?

    I think it is almost as important that you provided your view as a single parent and Father. The father really has no voice in the process, and that is heartbreaking.

    The piece about the PhD verses kids is craziness. Despite the hardships that come from being a parent or even a single parent, children are ALWAYS worth it. Selfishness blinds that which is really important in life. I know many of those women probably grapple with the choice of being a single parent and doing it alone; and think that abortion may be the easy way out. But God always finds a way to help us and guide us in our lives if we only let him in. We cannot walk through this life on our own, it will certainly bring nothing but pain. But sometimes facing those dark moments that we think we cannot recover from or face or do alone, yield the greatest blessings.

    Merry Christmas, my friend.

  4. Well, you made a friend with me! Instead of dissecting every point you eloquently wrote I'll just say a couple of things:

    1. If a person chooses to have sex outside of marriage there are things called condoms, birth control pills, diaphrams & birth control implant devices such as IUD's. If you're grown up enough to have sex, you better be grown up enough to either (a) raise a child or (b) protect against yourself/partner from an unplanned pregnancy.

    2. Yes, adoption has horror stories which are exploited by media outlets. The vast majority of children adopted grow up with loving parents in a stable home. It is expensive and loads of red tape, but a family that wants to love and raise children jump the hurdles, save the money needed and are forever blessed by the child of their heart.

  5. @Army - Thanks, I'm not afraid to open up a verbal can of whoop-ass when needed.

    @Holly - Agree, those of us fighting the good fight probably need to be more aggressive at standing up for what's right. I think when we get to heaven, we'll be most ashamed of what we should have done but didn't do out fear, shame or the thought of rejection.

    @Cari - Well said, blessings to you and your family in 2012!

    @LeAnn Rimes - I'm not even sure what an IUD is, and I ain't gonna Google it. :-) Seems that society in general is easy on abortion, tough on adoption, and that's a big problem. I intend to write more on this topic in the coming months. Thanks for your support, Merry Christmas!

  6. Anonymous12/24/2011

    Well-said. Facts are golden here!

  7. Rachael12/27/2011

    We're talking about human beings here (i.e., fetuses) so facts are kind of important, huh?

    God bless you. You're not only a great dad but a great and thoughtful human being as well.

  8. @Anon - Next time, I need to include footnotes with references to the research I do on this stuff.

    @Rachael - Thank you. Yep, unborn babes are humans in my book. I often wonder what the pro-choice crowd thinks they are if not human: nondescript blobs of tissue, a puppy or perhaps a raspberry scone?

    1. Anonymous1/26/2012

      Respected friend:
      I was the fifth of what were supposed to be four children. My father went insane from the stress of poverty, overwork, childhood PTSD and feeling trapped by the burden of his progeny. As a result, seven of eight of us (including his sons) were molested or raped by him.
      There are far worse fates than being aborted in this world. I and my sisters and brothers are living proof.
      My cousins were also raped by their father. Every one "gave birth" - was forced to carry to term her rapist's offspring- before her 13th birthday. All four have spent most or all of their lives in institutions. Three have been sterile ever since, and never had any hope of a wanted, welcomed child by a man they chose. Two were incontinent for decades until recent advances in gynecologic surgery made it possible to partially repair their urethral damage. Not one is able to have vaginal sex, due to the scarring the pregnancies and births caused.
      In what possible horrible mockery of God's will is any of that justified?
      PS: As to what pro-choice people think zygotes, blastomeres, blastocysts, embryos, fetuses, and unborn children are: we think they're zygotes, blastomeres, blastocysts, embryos, fetuses, and unborn children. We don't think _all_ of those terms describe a thinking, independently cognitive, self-directing human being.
      PPS:The statistic of one out of three pregnancies ending in early miscarriage differs from your figure because of a terminology difference. "Miscarriage" includes, in this country, only first-trimester loss of an established, known pregnancy. "Early miscarriage" includes what most people think of as a "missed period" - the woman was pregnant, but not yet aware of it. Only scientific examination proves there had been a pregnancy at all.

    2. Respected Anonymous friend:

      I'm sorry for you being abused, and the abuse that occured in your family. I hope the abusers were arrested and put through the system.

      I also was abused by a family member as a child.

      Still, I submit that abortion is worse than abuse. One damages a life. The other kills a life. I'm glad to be alive, despite abuse.

      A human being is not defined by whether they are a thinking, independently cognitive and self-directing human being. Severely retarded men and women may not be "thinking, independently cognitive and self-directing" human beings, but they are still human beings. Criminal law in many states recongizes embryos, fetuses, etc. as human beings, since a murdered pregnant mother is considered a double-homicide.

      I agree that the statistic on miscarriages could be higher 20% if we could somehow count the mothers that had miscarriages when they didn't know they were pregnant.

      Thank you for sharing your thoughts, God bless!

  9. Hello Beard,

    I'm sorry I never saw your comment. After discovering this post, I even went back and checked through all my spam filters, but it never seems to have made its way to me. Had I seen it, I assure you I would have responded.

    I'd like to know where you get many of your statistics. Definitely not from the same sources I use, and I would love to have the chance to cross-check my own facts.

    Aside from that, I am always happy to have a rational discussion. But being misquoted is not a good way to start. You selectively left out the most important phrases I use to support general arguments that you attribute to me. For example, my scripture. Your passage choices certainly illustrate a Biblical understanding that God is the creator of human beings, in the womb or otherwise, but do not deal with the actual issues of lawfulness- which is to say, murder. My point was that, regardless of whether or not a fetus is one of God's creatures, that the Bible does not consider abortion to BE murder. Again, see my post for the detailed explanation there.

    Your point about criminal law recognizing embryos as people is well taken, but I would point out that lots of bad laws are on the books. There are states where it's a criminal offense to leave someone standing at the altar. That doesn't mean it necessarily should be.

    I won't quibble with you on every point. Suffice to say, I disagree not only with your position, but also with the way you've played with my words. I confess I feel somewhat surprised and hurt that my words have been twisted this way, when I did make such an effort to be as respectful as possible in describing my position on this very, very delicate subject.

    I wish you luck with your goal of fostering, it's an incredibly brave and noble pursuit.

    I hope you and your family had a wonderful holiday season, and that the New Year brings only good for you.

    Best- BSM

  10. @Becoming Supermommy - Excellent, thanks for responding!

    Since my comment response didn't go through on your blog the first time, I went ahead and posted it again a few minutes ago. I hope you will post it, just as I've posted your response.

    I've updated my post in a couple spots to include footnotes and links to the data I used when researching my post. Also updated the section that spells out the gestational age of abortions and made it clear, based on Center for Disease Control data (2008 is the most recent year I could find), that 67% of abortions are performed AFTER six weeks.

    Where are you pulling your facts from?

    The Bible does not say "thou shall not abort", but I'm fairly confident in saying God does not support abortion.

    I happen to think the law charging a perp' for double murder of a pregnant mother is a reasonable law, not a "bad law" as you say.

    Thanks again for responding, cheers!


  11. Hi there, New tribemate stopping by and was pleasently surprised to find a Ummm unique kind of a topic post! Very impressed by your qouting the right scripture and yr strong views.Despite my Indian name I am a christian myself. Keep it going! To be true to one's self is The best thing I think. Ps yr kid is a cutie with lovely pigtails!

  12. @Sunithi - Hooray, a new tribes mate! Jumping over to your blog now to learn how to shove healthier food down my cholesterol hole.

    Thanks for your support, and nice to meet you!

    P.S. Despite my American name, my daughter and I are big fans of Indian food. Every Saturday, we hit up a local Indian restaurant: onion kulcha, chicken tandoori, vegetable biryani and mango shakes, yum.

  13. Anonymous12/29/2011

    I wanted to give you a big pat on the back for writing this post. I could not agree with you more. I like that you wrote about fathers having a say in a pregnancy and from the viewpoint of a single father. Life is life regardless of the age of a fetus. I am very much pro-life. I know of people that considered abortion only to choose life for their beautiful children. Now they cannot imagine why they'd ever thought about the possibility of abortion. I also know people who have had abortions and the mental scars have been torture for them. I know people trudging through the adoption process and the anguish infertility has brought them. Lee Anne was correct - if you feel you are mature enough to have sex, you need to be prepared for an unplanned pregnancy. Someone is sure to say that rape victims should be the exception. Again, it is a life we are talking about. While there is red tape, there is always adoption which is not costly to the birth mother. The bottom line... abortion is the ultimate selfish act.

  14. @Anon - Thanks for the back scratch! I suspect Supermommy wishes to deliver a roundhouse kick to my crotch.

    And why won't she post my blasted comment response on her blog?

    There are many would-be mothers that regret having an abortion, while few parents regret having children. Well okay, maybe a little biting of the tongue when junior erupts into a low blood sugar tantrum or they launch a sticky diaper bomb during the sermon and you realize that's raw poop-sauce seeping into your pants.

  15. Anonymous12/30/2011

    After reading your blog, the last remarks on someone giving up a PhD or visa versa for a baby upset me. I have a couple of friends who while pregnant and on the verge of delivery were studying and taking tests for their Boards. Another friend just defended her Doctorate after giving birth two weeks prior. She will be proudly be called Mom and Doctor.

    I am prochoice, but it seems only under certain circumstances. Rape and sexual abuse resulting in pregnancy are grounds for a woman to choose abortion. If there are health concerns for the Mother and/or child, I feel it is not my place to say they can’t abort. It is a family decision, Father included.

    But to say a woman can’t become a Doctor or complete her education because a baby has gotten in the way. That to me is a poor excuse. I understand it will be much harder but it can be done.

    I believe that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. If abortion is needed then God knows you can handle the outcome. Maybe it’s not what He wanted for his creation but then He can only guide us through life. In the end, we make our own choices. Good or Bad.

  16. @Anon - Yeah, I'm impressed by the mothers that can pull off a degree while with child.

    Super Mommy said: "Imagine working on your Ph.D. and being pregnant....should you give it all up in order to have a baby?" I think that statement is a terrible worldview and a wretched display of selfishness.

    I don't believe a baby should be aborted in the case of rape or sexual abuse. One terrible event does not justify a second, even more terrible event. Adoption is a loving option with a happy ending.

    True, God allows us to make our own choices in life. And he also lets us reap the success or consequences of those choices. There are consequences to having an abortion.

    Thank you for commenting, happy New Year!

  17. I still haven't been able to find your comment. I'll be looking into problems with Blogger as to why they're not coming through.

  18. @Supermommy - I posted a comment just now on your blog with a link to my article. Looks like it went through, we are good!

  19. Anonymous1/07/2012

    You know your bible, ever think about become a preacher?

    I'm pro-choice, but even more pro-contraception.

    You have lost me as a follower.

  20. @Anon - Bye bye. Great, my readership went from 6 down to 5 people.

  21. Beard,

    New follower here. I've been stalking your blog for all of a day but I've spent a lot of non-productive hours here at work being productive getting to know your blog. I'm not sure I've laughed so much in a long time. Great stuff you have here on your blog! There have been several times that I've wanted to comment on your posts (you know, in the extended period of time that I've been a follower!) but this post is what did it for me.

    While I am what I'd call "modified pro-choice" (or "modified pro-life" depending on how you want to look at it)--I do believe that women should have a say in what happens to their bodies and should be able to elect for an abortion in certain instances--I do not believe that abortion should be used as a form of contraception. I am a firm believer that life decisions (especially where one life will potentially end) should not be made during a moment of fear and that adoption is always the best choice for an unwanted pregnancy (aside from some very select exceptions--which I understand from another response that you and I do not share the same views on).

    I think you made some excellent points in your post and I commend you for not being afraid to share your views. . even if they don't make you friends (which, they actually have!) or they cause you to lose readers (which, unfortunately, we know happened at least once). I find you (again, in the long time that I've "known" you and all!) to be very brave, very intelligent, and seriously funny!

    I will definitely be back for more Beard & Pigtails! :-) Pigtails is a super darling little gal! You can tell she adores her Daddy!

    1. Nice, thanks for the kind words!

      "I believe women should have a say in what happens to their bodies".

      A baby is a separate person with his own rights. A mother may cut off her own arm if she chooses. But she has no right to harm her child.

      And so I'll continue to defend the defenseless.

  22. I hate when those pro abortion say they are pro-choice. Everyone is pro-choice. You make a choice whether to have unprotected sex knowing it can lead to a baby. The baby that results is not a choice but rather a miracle. I wish I could choose miracles. I pray for miracles to happen but it's God's timing and ultimate plan that occurs. So yes, you are pro-choice but don't forget what the actual choice is that you are making. Every choice has outcomes (good or bad, wanted or unwanted). You have to be a human and live with the outcomes of your choice. You choose to steal, you end up in court or jail, you choose to be a workaholic, you miss out on family relationships, you choose to have sex, you deal with the possibility that it could bring a child into the world. Let's not forget what the choice is.

    1. Right, A+B=C. Choosing to bump-and-grind means a couple is performing an act that may spit a baby out the other end.

      Babies indeed are miracles. I pray it's God's will that you may have or adopt if that's what you desire.

  23. My husband is currently running for Congress and is Pro-Life. We were speaking with a man at an event that said logically speaking life starts at conception. Scientifically, death is "the permanent cessation of all the vital functions of an organism". Death is when the body starts to decompose. How can we consider a person dead when his body starts to decompose, but not consider the composition of the body the beginning of life?

    1. I haven't heard that angle before, I like it! I'll tuck that away and pull it out as needed when defending innocent life. Thank you!

  24. Hi Beard, I clicked over today from YHL to see your fabulous kitchen and have been enjoying your blog - but more than anything I wanted to tell you how much I admire your courage to speak out and defend human life. I love your writing and pictures, etc...but more than anything, I love that you let your faith shine through! I'm looking forward to reading more. Emily

    1. In the waning days of our life, I think many people will regret not what they did or said during their lifetime, but what they didn't do or say when they should have spoken up. I purpose not to be indifferent in life. So I'll continue to write things that people don't like to talk about, but need to be said.

      I'm not doing my blog-job right if I don't make readers laugh, uncomfortable and possibly angry, often in the same post.

  25. I, also, jumped over to your blog from YHL-- You seem very dedicated to your daughter and a good inspiration to many. Blessings to you.

    1. Thank you, and peace to you.

  26. I also came here from YHL. Really enjoyed your Reno. And well done for standing up for those who don't have a voice.

    1. Wish I could do more to stand up for the voiceless. How can I better help the defenseless?

    2. Go to your local Care Pregnancy Center and volunteer! We're always greatful when men are willing to help! Perhaps you can help to coordinate a halfer to help raise funds!

  27. Anonymous3/23/2012

    What a beautiful humbling well written post.

  28. Came here from YHL too, love the kitchen. Alas, love your stance on LIFE even more. You rock!

  29. Hi. I too came over from YHL and I must say I'm glad. You seem to have a wonderful relationship with your daughter.
    I became pregnant with my daughter at 17 and considered abortion for a split second. It just wasn't the choice for me. I did, however, take into account the opinions of the father (who is my husband now) and searched within my heart and prayed to God to help me.
    I didn't want to be pregnant, nor did I really want to be a teen mom and have a baby. But I can honestly say, from the bottom of my heart, I am so happy that I chose having her.
    I believe that God has given us all the option of choice, and like you said, each choice either has its consequence or its reward. I'm glad that my daughter was my reward. I believe that she was exactly what God had planned for me and my life is much brighter for having her in it.
    I commend you for your stance and staying true to your beliefs. Your life, as well as your daughter's, will be richer for it.
    Congratulations on raisng a beautiful child.

    1. Your daughter and I thank you for doing the right thing!

  30. Whoa, from a post way back in December, you sure keep up. Impressive...anyhow, I'll throw my two cents in. First off, when a HUMAN BEING conceives, it conceives a HUMAN BEING. It's not as if a HUMAN BEING conceives an apple, or a cat. Science, black and white, for sure proves, that when the more tender of the human race conceives, it's most definetly another human being. Now, whether people WANT to recognize that or not, that's another issue. I can't help stupidness, anymore than I can conceive a lizard...Secondly, my husband was adopted as a three month old. It was a closed adoption in 1974. We know precious little about his birth mother, other than she was 15yrs. old. Also, apparently, his father was a 22yr. old marine. (I know, trust me, we have two little girls, and I'd rip any guy a new you-know-whatsy if that ever took place...) I do know that some 15yr olds can look 18. But, I also wonder if somehow, the birth father over powered her...However, Roe vs. Wade had passed, and legally my husband's birth mom could have trashed him. To be 15yrs. old and pregnant, back then especially was brutal. She was sent away. I'm assuming she had people on both sides of the coin giving her advice, but she gave life!!! I can't begin to tell you of the ripple effects bc of her choice. No, we still haven't found her. Yes, she's one of my heroes. The ripple effects are too numerous, and so great! No baby gets to choose the circumstances under which they are conceived, but once there, they do have the "Right to life..." as stated for ALL U.S. citizens. It ain't gonna' be pretty when we have to answer for how we've treated the weakest and most vulnerable in our society...

  31. Andrea5/21/2012

    Hi Beard,

    I was directed to this post from the comments in the recent post by Curls and I just want to say that I really appreciate your post and I commend you for putting this out there.

    I used to be firmly pro-choice, but as some years have passed and I'm a little older (25 but still not ready for children) my position has completely changed. I had an eye opening expirience when I was 18 and my bestfriend (she was 16) became pregnant. Her mother told her that she HAD to have an abortion because having a child so young would "ruin her life". What a terrible thing to say. Thankfully, my friend would not give in to her mother. Unfortunatly, I'm sure this story is not unique and it makes me question who's choice is actually supported when an abortion takes place.

    So again, thank you for the post above. Kudos to you :)

    1. I'm certain your friend from school has been greatly blessed by the child she chose to carry. Please thank her and pass on this link, and I appreciate your comment!

  32. Anonymous8/15/2012

    This is my first time perusing your blog (hopped over from YHL!). I am pro-life, but several things you said made my blood boil. This comment is so belated, but I had to do it.

    You have no mention of science on here! Though I agree with the double homicide law, what the law says is DEFINITELY not science. I come from a family of all doctors, and we debate the "when does life start" issue all the time--there is no scientific consensus on the start of life (since an embryo does not initially have any organ systems and cannot support itself), but there is scientific consensus on the end. Melody Martin’s ridiculous statement was that decomposition is the permanent cessation of all vital functions of an organism. Very not true. The cause-effect is totally off here: a body decomposes BECAUSE s/he is dead, s/he is not dead because s/he is decomposing. So I wouldn't tuck that away and pull it out as needed, because I don't know a single scientist or doctor who would agree with it. And that's why, even though I'm pro-life, I get so incensed: we're handing pro-choicers the ability to smear our views with arguments like this.

    Also, the fact that you don't know what an IUD annoys me. You've rightfully chosen abstinence, but many people don't. The best abortion prevention is to make sure unwanted children aren't made in the first place. Men need to know about contraception as much as a woman does, and society doesn’t expect them to. I agree they should have a say in the baby's fate, but they also need to contribute to the prevention.

    1. Since you come from a "family of all doctors", then you well know boiling blood and stress are not great for your health.

      If science is unable to define when life starts, then the double homicide law is shrewd in assuming life begins at conception, the homicidal perpetrator punished doubly so.

      You misstated Melody's line, here is what she wrote: "Scientifically, death is 'the permanent cessation of all the vital functions of an organism'. Death is when the body starts to decompose."

      Her first sentence is true, death is the permanent cessation of all the vital functions of an org'. Her second sentence needs tweaked: "Death, then the body starts to decompose." Extending this to life: "Life, then the body starts to compose."

      I know what an IUD is now.

      The best abortion and disease prevention is abstinence. Contraception does diddly squat to protect against STDs. I'm Catholic, so the only contraception I'll practice if married again will be NFP. Please tell me you know what NFP is, it'd be annoying if you didn't.

  33. Anonymous8/16/2012

    I see that I have annoyed you, and I'm sorry about that. I live in a pro-choice area, so I often share my views with a dubious audience and really think the pro-lifers need to appeal to all moral/religious backgrounds to create 'converts.'

    Melody's first sentence is absolutely true, but the key/scientific part is the cessation of vital organs (not the decomposition). By that definition, life would start at the first heartbeat/brain stem development/etc., which is not at conception. Of course, you can extrapolate this argument any number of ways, as Melody has, but it's not going to convince those who aren't already convinced.

    I was mentioning my family of doctors to demonstrate the disagreement within the scientific community, even among those (ex: a family) with the same moral backgrounds. No need to be sarcastic about it. For me, knowing that there is no scientifically accepted start to life is enough. I just assume that life starts at conception to be on the 'safe' side. I've actually found that to be the most compelling argument to pro-choicers. No extrapolation.

    I know what NFP is, and it is obviously not the right form of contraception outside of marriage. I knew boys who were going to all-boys Catholic schools sleeping with girls at age 14 with no knowledge of contraception. The key to eliminating abortions is eliminating pregnancies among those who don't appreciate the miracle of a child. I am sure while you maintain certain standards, you would like for abortions to be eliminated even among those who don't.

    Sorry I took my everyday frustrations at arguing with people about this out on you! Always looking for the next airtight argument.

  34. Anonymous10/09/2012

    I`m an immigrant to this country and never realized that even in America there are people who abstain from sex if they are not married. Good to know your values Beard, interesting how media has made me stereotype American values. I need to judge people based on reality.

    Another point I want to make is that if the lady thinks getting a phD > having a baby then I do agree. I don't beleive in abortion, but I am 30 years old and would like to go back to college to earn a college degree so that I can support children I have in future. I will be 34 when I get my degree, and having babies after that is risky. But I am willing to take that risk as I think having a good career for a woman is important to support her children.

  35. Anonymous11/02/2012

    Something I read a while ago.. 'Abortion doesn't make you un-pregnant. It makes you a
    mother of a dead child'.

    I am not pro-choice (I didn't know a term like that existed before I read your article!) or the opposite of it but, I do think that if the unborn child is detected with a serious medical condition which cannot be treated or may get worse with time, the family should have a choice. It's not humane to have a tiny little life with numerous tubes and needles running through them. He/She is in all likelyhood is in a lot of pain and the poor soul cannot even voice it. And what happens if the parents of such a child cannot afford all the medical treatment later on? Or God forbid, are themselves disabled due to an accident or something and cannot physically care for the child? Do they get sent to a 'home'? Will that not tear everything away? What if such a specialy abled child outlives the parents? Who cares for them then? I don't think anybody apart from their parents would actually care and protect him/her.

    Just putting my thoughts here. I am in no means an expert or have ever been in a situation that required me/anyone I know to make this decision. So, probably have no right to comment on this subject.

    Thank you for sharing the link to your blog though... enjoyed what I've read till now :) and regretting not meeting you while you were in Pune! Take care.. See you next time around!

    1. Pigtails' mother was born with a serious medical condition, sacral agenesis, that was expected to get worse with time. She had tubes, needles and multiple painful surgeries with risk of permanent paralysis shortly after she was born.

      Today she's confined to a wheelchair and fighting brain cancer, and SHE'S GLAD TO BE ALIVE. Shame on anyone who says that death/abortion is better than a life of medical challenges. Pigtails would not be here if her mother was aborted in order to 'avoid an inhumane life of pain' as you say. Life > death, even if that life is difficult and a person must live it out in foster care or battle medical problems.

      It should not be up to a mother to decide to snuff a life, how selfish. An unborn child has their own rights, and they most certainly will always choose life.

  36. Anonymous11/07/2012

    I agree to what you are saying. I do not support murder in any terms/conditions either. But there are few like Pigtail's mother who are able to endure the pain and still be glad to be alive. She is a strong person. Am sure she has had the support of family and friends to help her coup and recover.
    But not everyone thinks/feels like that. Euthanasia wouldn't be an option then.
    I had a cousin in my family who too was bed ridden soon after being born and needed a lot of medical care & treatement throughout her life. She was not able to speak either. After my uncle (her father) retired, he was diagnosed with throat cancer in the advanced stage. I remember seeing my uncle and aunt cry endlessly worrying who would care for their daughter after them. They'd never considered a care home or any other alternative ever. Unfortunately, she died that year. She was in her thirties. She was loved and cared for but, you could see it in her eyes that she was in pain. Within a year, my uncle was no more either. I've seen what its like and its not easy. Am sure given a choice her parents would have always choosen her over anything else. Even if they were told about her future health condition. But they were able to afford to pay for the medical treatment, not everyone is able to. And that's what am concerned about. There are too many articles & incidents in the news from all over the world, where a child has been abandoned due to an illness or simply because they cannot afford to raise the child. Giving up the child for adoption is always an option, but do all of them go that route? A girl child still gets sold! When this girl grows up, and is given a choice to live the life her 'trader' gave her or not be born at all, what do you think she'll choose?
    Again, am not saying that abortion is acceptable or is just the mother's prerogative. Further education/career are poor excuses and yes, using protection should be a better option to begin with.
    Maybe with better counselling, protection, support and government grants (if in financial need), a family will be able to make a responsible decision.

    I wish Pigtail's mum a speedy recovery. Hope she gets better soon. Take care..

  37. first time i'm reading this post (as a reader who found the site from YHL and have been pro beard and pigtails ever since!). just read this post through your link at this year's christmas. had no idea you were so vehemently pro-life. or religious, to read the comments.
    i am decidedly pro-choice but it was very interesting reading your take on things. always glad to hear someone speak their mind and take a stand on what they believe.

    1. Agree, I'd rather a person oppose me on a topic and them be well informed and willing to defend their angle than a lukewarm person that stands for nothing. Hot or cold, but never wishy washy.

  38. oh my. keeping snarky comment to myself....
    I am so glad that you took the time to point out the incorrections in her post.

    I was shocked by her claim that the Bible doesn't speak of abortion and so therefore it must be okay. And so I went and pulled up the passage she referenced on Bible Gateway. I looked up the NIV, NKJ and ESV passages and and saw that God's Word does take very seriously the loss of life of an unborn baby. (Be sure to read through verse 24 as well.) If God calls for life for life if a man harms a woman and causes her to miscarry...wouldn't he apply the same judgement to a woman that chose to end the life she carried???

    from the NIV:
    22 “If people are fighting and hit a pregnant woman and she gives birth prematurely[e] but there is no serious injury, the offender must be fined whatever the woman’s husband demands and the court allows. 23 But if there is serious injury, you are to take life for life, 24 eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, 25 burn for burn, wound for wound, bruise for bruise.

    I wish I had your way with words to really get out all that I'm feeling as a result of reading her post.

  39. Anonymous6/12/2013

    I have followed you for awhile and appreciate your views on a number of things. I am sure the Lord gave Pigtails a father like you to get her through these difficult times. I agree with this post. As a grandmother of two adopted children I especially feel that our Lord had ways to solve problems other than abortion. I am so glad that the birth mothers of my grandchildren chose birth, not abortion. Thank you for your courage and fight for the defenseless ones. You and Pigtails are in our prayers.

    1. I've been called many things on this blog, spit on if you will, but this is the first I've been called Sharon.


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