Jan 16, 2012

PUT YOUR SHOES ON, NOW!

I need to be at work by 7:00 am on certain days.  Bang the 5:55 snoozer a couple times, then carefully unwind Pigtails from her blankets like a burrito, getting her moving at granny pace.  I put some pants on (welcome), pack lunches and jam her cold weather recess gear into a knapsack.  She is, in theory, in the other room getting dressed and detangling her tresses as I'm hustling around.  Shoes on, school drop with her favorite breakfast granola bar, slap her with a hug-n-kiss, then bolt to work. 

We've got the routine down pat and it usually moves along nicely.  Until it's time to put her shoes on.  




 

The shoes, oh those filthy, smelly shoes!  The scenarios include, but are not limited to:

  • One shoe is missing.
  • Both shoes are missing.  No worries, the kid happily informs me she found her tap shoes.
  • One shoe has dog poop on it.  We must smear it off before leaving.  We don't own a dog.
  • Her shoe laces are knotted together, I'm not very good with knots.
  • A shoe lace is missing.  How does that happen?
  • One shoe's on, yes!  But daughter is in la-la land and it takes her several minutes to focus and get that second shoe squared away.
  • I'm somehow missing one of my shoes.
  • She is wearing one moon boot, one tennis shoe, and she doesn't appear to give a rip.
  • Pigtails is sitting on the floor, snapping her wrist with a turtle Silly Bandz, rather than putting her shoes on.  I tell her "Please put your shoes on, you're going to make dad late for work."  She responds, "I am", while continuing to sit there, slowly snapping her wrist with a turtle Silly Bandz.

The shoe problem drives me nuts, it often ends with me yelling, "PUT YOUR SHOES ON, NOW!"  She looks at me bewildered, like "what's the big deal, grouchy?"

Do your kids have shoe problems in the morning or is it just me?

-Beard

23 comments:

  1. We haven't gotten to this stage yet, since there's only one pair of shoes, and Mom always puts them in the same place every night, but I know I'm in for it. Thanks for the warning! :)

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    Replies
    1. That's it, I'm tossing all her shoes but one pair.

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    2. Beard, keep a pair of Pigtail sneakers in the car. When you're home for the night, yank those puppies off and keep them in the car. If this seems too co-dependy, let her carry her shoes to the car and put them on in the car. We've done both.

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  2. Our problem is socks. HJ HATES socks. When he sees me pull them out of the drawer he starts yelling "NOOOOOO!". It can take anywhere from 30 seconds to 15 minutes to wrestle them on.

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    Replies
    1. Did HJ once have a bad experience with fire ants in his socks?

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    2. That seems like the only logical explanation!

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  3. Yeah, duh. Also add coats, hats, the dreaded mittens (that's why you buy 5 pair). I hate it all. I have to add an extra 20 minutes to the departure time because I have two kids, so you're not alone.

    I just started saying things like this, "okay, I'll pick you up at the hospital today after work", which usually sends a panicked look and a "huh?" and then I explain that is where I'll pick them up since they have been carted there due to frostbite.

    Scare tactics, I'm not above it. It works.

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  4. You and I got it easy, imagine the chaos that breaks out when the Duggars bundle up their 20 kids for a sledding party.

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  5. love it, my 2 year old is already "no daddy, other coat" and the such. Can't wait for the shoe drama!

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    Replies
    1. Next kid, we'll go barefoot hippie or Jesus sandals, the shoes aren't worth it.

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  6. yo momma1/17/2012

    Yes I had that problem with you a long time ago !!!!

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    Replies
    1. What the heck, Mom, you do read the blog after all? The shoe problem is payback from my bratty days.

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  7. Anonymous1/17/2012

    I say, go shoeless. The trauma from the threat of arriving at school, sans shoes, might be enough to motivate change.

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    Replies
    1. Alrighty, shoeless it is, -5 real-feel be damned!

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  8. I have been known to turn into "crazy militant mom" more days than I care to count. "We are leaving NOW! I don't care if you are naked! We are leaving!" I would love to tell you it gets easier, but my 15, yes 15 year old is the worst of my 3 in getting ready in a timely fashion. Monkeyboy is the second worst and middle man is the only one that smiles and is cooperative in the morning. So, age isn't a factor. God help the 15 year old when he goes to college! All I can say is that he better not schedule 8:00 classes! Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The thought of the coming teen-girl "time of the month", combined with shoe/outfit meltdowns is scary. I'm thankful she's in a private school with a plain-Jane dress-code, no fighting over attire. That part is easy, but THE BLOODY SHOES MAKE ME ANGRY, ROOAARRR!

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  9. Our girls wear uniforms, and right now we have size 8, 9, 10 and 11 of black mary jane style shoes. Why the ones that don't fit haven't been put away yet is beyond me, but having 4 pairs, plus 2 more pairs of similar shoes, makes every morning its very own kind of special hell.

    I don't remember my dad using the "f" word growing up, but the one time that I do remember, it was in regards to putting on shoes.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. (slow applause) - I'm not worthy, and Lord help you.

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  10. Ha! If this isn't a vision from my mornings. I know the feeling and go through it with my three kids. My toddler loves kicking his shoes off when I run out to warm up the truck. Then when I go to put them back on, he plays hide and go seek with his feet.

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    Replies
    1. I suggest you play hide-and-seek with your son's food. No shoes, no meal, kid!

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  11. I have a 17 year old who I spend 30+ minutes yelling at him to get out of bed... I gave up on the shoes, sweater, coat fight long ago...if he isn't smart enough to know what he should wear based on the weather...well...I think it's too late!

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    Replies
    1. Lord help me, you mean to tell me I can expect to play games with the shoes for another 9 years?

      Delete
  12. WOO HOO!!!! And I thought I was the only one who had to go thru this with my daughter. A typical morning for us is, "But mommy the sock doesn't feel right!", even after multiple adjustments. Thank the Lord for summer & flip flops!

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Thanks for the note, check back for my response!