Mar 29, 2012

Burger Time

Lost my Man Card on that sissy tea post.  Time to earn it back, let's grill some burgers.  

If you're vegetarian and don't eat food with faces, go ahead and exit this post now.

It took me a few years to do burgers right.  They were missing that charbroiled crust and tender center I desired.  After inhaling how-to grilling clips on YouTube and a little trial-and-error, they finally turn out right. 

Hot Grill
I cook with gas, but natural lump charcoal with hickory chunks mixed in tastes best.   Drop a match on the burners or coal and preheat the grates.  You want to sear the meat and cook quickly, 400 or 500 degrees will do.  

While the grill is heating, prepare the pink slime.



Loose Dimpled Patties
I use 85% lean ground chuck.  This isn't the time to fret about fat pants, you want a lil' beef blubber in there for taste and texture.  I heed the Grilling Companion's advice in keeping the patties loose.  Rather than spanking the meat, gently piece together into crumbled rounds 3/4" thick.  Don't worry about them looking nice, they'll hide beneath buns.  

Dimple the center with a thumb to help it cook evenly and prevent burger bloat. I dust with salt, pepper, garlic and a shot of TJ's Soyaki in the divot.





Might as well do fries, Lawry's works well.





Go Time



The fire should be at temp by now, add the foil of fries.  Wait a couple minutes until they begin to steam, then slap on the cow rounds.





Grilling time depends on temp and thickness of the burgers.  I usually grill 2 minutes, then rotate the patties 1/4 turn to brand with cross marks.  After 4 minutes total on side 1, they'll begin to brown and sweat on top.  Flip 'em. 



 Stir the fries so they don't scorch.  The greasy burger smoke waters my eyes and mouth. 






Leave the patties be, don't mash them down or the juice will drain.  Cook 2 minutes, rotate 1/4 turn for the fancy marks.  

After 4 minutes on side 2, check the center for pink.  They should be getting close at the 8 minute mark (4 minutes per side).  Dibs on that back burger, Pigtails gets the sketchy broken one up front: 






Just before pulling the meat, add cheese and toast your buns on the top rack. 





Fries with burnt ends, dunked into Cookies BBQ.




Eat
Let the meat sit for a bit, the juice will settle in nicely.  While resting, I mix up a batch of coleslaw using bagged shredded cabbage and dressing.  Takes only a minute, and the cool crunch offsets the burgers just right.

Pray and dig in!















  










I'm hungry again, let's do chicken next time.

-Beard

49 comments:

  1. Beard last weekend I made the same... I use a dash of Worcestershire - but so close.

    But we tried pretzel buns and oh man oh man...

    Our Trader Joes has them... caramelized onions and mushrooms and it was the best burger ever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the tip, I'll grab a sack of pretzel buns next time and give them a try. Trader Joe's is excellent!

      Delete
  2. Yummy! I always do "two layer" burgers and make two thin patties with a layer of cheddar cheese in between, forked together and cooked as one. It's a nice cheesy surprise. Oh, and of course plenty of garlic!

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  3. I love having cold fresh fruit anytime I eat something grilled. Your burgers look yummy!

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  4. Is that your tall glass of chocolate milk?

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  5. Can't wait to wipe the dust off the grill this weekend and try your version. Looks so good.
    Including the chocolate milk!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All that grilling and readers give the nod to the chocolate milk.

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    2. hahahah, yah, it's the chocolate milk that wows us!!!

      Delete
  6. Annie - Yeah, can't get enough of the chocolate milk. Hence the choco milk pool pee.

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  7. Ditto on the cheese filled burger above, with a slight modification: My grandpa used to make 'em like that, but he added crumbled bacon and chives to the shredded cheese between the two burgers. Dadgum, those things were awesome. He had a beautiful brick barbeque on the edge of the patio, but he swore by his Ol' Smokey. I'm thinking we might need to make some burgers this weekend. Yum.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A friend tells me a local deli sells meat stuffed with bacon and cheese inside. I'll give that a shot next time.

      Delete
  8. Oh man, I was just thinkin' about burgers earlier today. It's that time of year. Looks deeelicious!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Spring came a month early, was grilling in February.

      Delete
  9. Mmmmmm, I'm hungry.

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  10. Just realized, that is a HUGE glass of choco milk.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't mean to brag...

      Delete
  11. Oh my Gosh they look so good! Can't wait to show my hubby this post :)

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  12. These look amazing! The dimple is a great idea.
    Have you thought about doing your own fries though? If you cut the potatoes thin enough they take less than 5 minutes to fry.
    We usually fry them in a pan with half an inch of olive oil and they always turn out great.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've done my own fries, they taste great. But keeping an eye on a 500 degree grill while frying potatoes proved to be a bit too much juggling. So I usually skimp on the tates.

      Delete
  13. A dimple in the middle of the burger so it doesn't bloat up? Now why didn't I think of that?! These look delicious by the way... I may have to fire up my grill this weekend!

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    Replies
    1. I got the dimple idea from the Grilling Companion, it really works!

      Delete
  14. Nicole3/30/2012

    My mouth is watering. And laughed at callin dibs on the best burger! "I call that burger! Now Tommy...we all call that a burger."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Her broken burger was a mess, but she didn't seem to notice. Sucker.

      Delete
  15. Forwarding this post to the family grill master .... I'm not a huge burger fan, but you make me want one for dinner! thanks for sharing it!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Michelle McCormick3/30/2012

    My husband used to do the "smash and flip, smash and flip, smash and flip" when we first started dating. I am actually the one who's the grill master in our house and I was like, NOOOOOOO! when I saw him doing that. I took over the reins of the grill and I cook them up just like this. Yum. Except we add a cold beer instead of chocolate milk :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tell him Beard says "Don't spank the meat."

      Delete
    2. Michelle McCormick4/03/2012

      That's EXACTLY what I told him!!!! And then he spanked the chicken breast and he lost his "grill privileges" after that. I shouldn't have taken those from him, because now he doesn't cook at ALL. Husband as a chef FAIL. :)

      Delete
  17. Anonymous3/30/2012

    umm... wow. that looks amazing. i know what i'm making for dinner tonight!

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  18. Dang, that looks really good!

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  19. Yummmy! The fries look awesome! Bow.I'm hungry!

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  20. I don't know kind of weirded out by the fries. taint nothing worse than mushy fires on the inside & burnt on the outside.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tater tots hold up better on the grill than fries, since they don't burn as easily and go limp under the heat.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous3/30/2012

      Those are my favorite kind. haha.

      Delete
  21. OOOOOOHHH, I want a burger..... for breakfast.

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  22. Guess what we had for dinner again tonight? This time with bacon on top, sides of homemade french fries and asparagus.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Michelle McCormick4/03/2012

      You HAVE to blog your cooking stuff. Like every time you cook, you need to take pics and write to us about it. I get half my ideas from you lately. For real!

      Delete
    2. Michelle, I'll see what I can do on that front, stay tuned.

      Delete
    3. Michelle McCormick4/04/2012

      I hope so! Because from the looks of it, you are a very good cook, so you should definitely share!!! You should add a "Beard Cooks" tab :)

      Delete
    4. Michelle McCormick4/11/2012

      SO glad you did!! Yay!!!! Sorry for my multiple posts on the Beard Cooks tab and your Facebook, but I got super excited to see my idea come to fruition lol

      Delete
  23. I've never mastered the grill. I kinda always assumed that the manly person should be doing the outside cooking since I do all the rest, but now I guess I've got to learn. Thanks for the tutorial.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Burgers no care if you're a he or she, they're simple to grill up. As an added bonus, your clothes will smell like burgers the rest of the day.

      Delete
  24. oh.my.word.

    Now I need to go out and get me some BURGER!
    These look amazing - kudos to you...
    Now, excuse me while I run off to show this post to my husband in hopes he can replicate this! (something tells me, he'll be sticking to frozen pizzas!)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So did you convince him to bust out the beef?

      Delete
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