Nov 27, 2012

Current Affairs

If you follow B&P on FB, some of this post will be leftover scraps.  For the rest of you, here's how our week played out.

Girl Balls 
On the way to the grocery store tonight, Pigtails asked:

"Daddy, are girl balls called Virginia?"

I coughed and said, "girls ain't got dem balls," then pointed and told her to "check out those pretty Christmas lights."

Please send help.

Big Little
Daughter and I hang out with Quincy every two weeks, we made a Starbucks run this weekend to celebrate him turning 7.  Q's mom was touched that readers of this blog tossed in nearly a thousand bucks for a cochlear upgrade.  I'm also surprised, most of you don't really know me or Quincy, yet there you are helping the little guy out.  It means a lot, thank you.  Looks like I'll be coughing up a Grover Cleveland, give until it hurts.

We made a mess at the prissy overpriced 'bucks, spilling hot chocolate and unloading a big sack of junk:  Connect Four, Uno, decks of cards and Jenga.

Not naming names, but somebody in our trifecta had jittery hands.  So we gave up on Jenga and switched to building Matchbox racetracks and dominoes out of blocks.

Readers are split on which logo is most fetching.  You already know my favorite.  I went ahead and put the winning logo in a two minute time-out until everyone simmers down. 

Thanksgiving in Burlington
Last time if was cow, plow and mega chow out on the farm.  This year Curls, Pigtails and I road tripped to my hometown of Burlington to spend time with family.  

Even got to visit with my brother, SIL and their cute girls. 

Nestled along the Mississippi River in the southeast corner of Iowa, this industrial town of 25,000 is home of the Burlington Northern Railroad, Case backhoes, Champion spark plugs and Chicken Lips.  My dad works at the Champion factory.

B-town was once the capital of Iowa and has a tight downtown holding a dozen brick-slate 1800s churches...their steeples locked in a pissing match over the highest poke.


Ripley's calls Snake Alley the crookedest street in the world.  I ripped into it on several cold 7 mile runs over break.

Run more, eat more.

The temp was 70 degrees on Wednesday, then sank the next morning to a windy real-feel of 18.  @shrinkage

 We shopped a tad, don't forget Jesus is the reason for the season.

tough decision

Going Goth
Cankles swollen from salty turkey and liver-laden dressing, we plodded the scenic route back to Des Moines.  Kids learn art and history lessons best when done live-action style, plus I've been wanting to check Grant Wood's gothic house.  A quick detour on the push home led us through Eldon, population 900 and freezing cold. 

she may be smiles, but with fangs hissed "hurry up Daddy, my hands are froze!"

Dutch Oven
We drove a little more before sidetracking through Pella.  This hamlet o' Netherlands houses baked cholesterol, a smoked meathouse and Tulip Time come May.  Dutch letters from Jaarsma Bakery never fail, 'S' shaped tubes of almond paste packed within sweet butter-flake crunch.


We'll take one of everything, please.  FB for short video clips of the diabetes and smokehouse.

I'm in the queue for pacing the Fargo Marathon next May.  Who lives there, and tell me what to do while in town.

That's a wrap,


  1. ive lived in fargo for 42 years & im pretty sure there is nothing to do here. which is why we own homes in four other states. my sister in law has been training for the last year for the marathon & lost 78 lbs in the process. shes a running machine.

    1. Fargo sounds incredibly boring by your account, but I bet we'll have fun. A dozen of us from the office will be marathoning in May, join us and you'll agree.

  2. I've always wanted to visit B-town and see Snake Alley! The Lint Lizard really works, by the way. Hope you made the right decision. :-) As for Fargo, I've got nothin...

    1. Nebraska is close by, you should come visit. Iowa has a lot of small towns with character and delicous food, such as the Amana Colonies, Pella, Dubuque, B-town and a full hand more.

    2. Yes, yes it is! I've been to the Amana Colonies several times (love it there), and of course Adventureland was a childhood favorite. I need to start planning an Iowa adventure... :-)

  3. Anonymous11/28/2012

    I'm cracking up about the Virginia question.

    In our house, we try to use proper names for private body parts and discuss them as nonchalantly as we would an arm or a leg, since technically, their whole body is their personal territory and no one should touch them in a way that they don't like, etc., even on a toe.

    Nevertheless, our nearly five year old son calls his business "peanuts." So good luck with that! :)

    1. Melissa11/28/2012

      We use proper terms as well. We started that way and stuck with it. It was only after our son was a couple years old that a friend informed us that it also sets up a bit of a "warning" system. If someone is touching your child inappropriately, they're not likely to use the terms penis, testicles or vagina. So if your child suddenly starts using slang terms for their private parts, it might be an indication of sexual abuse.

    2. Daughter is close to knowing the proper names for the nether regions, although I don't want her so nonchalant that she's openly discussing the dangly parts at school.

      She covered her mouth and laughed when I brought up "uvula" the other day.

    3. Melissa, so THAT'S what those funny looking parts are called.

    4. Anonymous11/29/2012

      LOL! Yes, making sure they know when it's appropriate to bring the parts up is definitely part of the deal. We have more success with this with our daughter than with our son. :/

  4. Enjoy the nicknames! I don't want my child screaming at the top of their lungs that they crushed their testicles in their bike accident. "Woo" lets me know they are really hurting and where and it isn't so embarrassing in public when they ask a random question. "Nobody touching private parts" can get a lot of people into scary situations. The Dr. sometimes has to touch and look as does the mother or father depending on life circumstances/which child is hurt. I love that you have an openness and yet a reverence (or am I just hoping?). I wouldn't encourage the 'balls' bit in my husband/kids b/c modesty is not just in clothing but speech as well and while the body is good, it is actually stinking awesome and deserves respect. Not trying to slam you with my high and mighty.... I have plenty of good, holy friends who use the same term, but not my cup of tea b/c I don't want a young gentleman speaking that way in front of my daughter. And to further not tout my perfection, I'd put that question/quote in the annual Christmas letter as it is both hilarious and so darn real!!! Out of the mouths of babes! I love, love, love your stories!

    1. Got it, no more talking about balls. Unless we're at a baseball game.


Thanks for the note, check back for my response!