Dec 30, 2012

The Final Countdown

Give
Time's up tomorrow on the $ match for Quincy.  Thanks to you that have pooled more than a thousand dollars to upgrade his cochlear implants.   His mom, Steph, said she can't believe people she doesn't know are helping her son.

Save
Doing the opposite of the masses often works out well.  Black Friday's a bore, the best day to shop is the morning after Christmas.  Caffeinated with a black Brazilian in hand, I headed out to reap the sales at 7:00 a.m. on Dec. 26.  Nary a soul in sight, I filled a bucket with Bath and Body Works smelly junk as gifts for next year.  A long receipt spat a total of $175.  She clicked the red discount key, the damage shriveled down to $61.

Dec 27, 2012

Attackle

Pigtails doesn't have siblings to rough her up, so she takes it out on me.  She calls this one attackle, best out of 3 off the bed wins.



-Beard

Dec 25, 2012

Frankincense and Myrrh

They saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him:  and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, frankincense and myrrh.  Matthew 2:11


Mom and dad raised us in the Missouri Synod Lutheran church.  Each year around this time, in Sunday school and sermon, we'd hear the story of the birth of Jesus.  I was always confused when we hit the verse about the frankincense and myrrh.

What in the heck were these gifts the three wise men gave?
What did they represent?
Frankincense and not a baby rattle, really?
Rather than myrrh, why not a sleeve of hazelnut Ferrero Rocher and underpants like mom shoved in my stocking?

Dec 23, 2012

Pass the Sprouts

Last year for Christmas, I got a kudos/crotch-kick combo in the comments for defending the defenseless.  This year, we're saying happy birthday Jesus, pass the Brussels sprouts.

My first and last encounter with the terrible tiny cabbages was 30 years ago.  Five years old, mom sat me down to a hot mound.  They smelled funny, I gingerly gulped a sphere of green mush down the hatch.  Cough, gag and splat, all over my lap and sister's.  I cried, my sister screamed and punched me.  Been scared of those smelly barf balls ever since.

Dec 20, 2012

Snow Day

As I was tucking her in last night, Pigtails says:

"Daddy, if everyone in my class wears their jammies backwards, we'll get a snow day tomorrow."

I peeled back the covers, sure enough, she had her footy PJs on backwards.

Woke up this morning to a foot of powder and no school.  Yippee, a snow day, both of us played hooky.  Blow drifts, cut cookies in the grocery getter and load up the neighbor kids to skid down the oldest golf course west of the Mississippi.  

It went like this:



-Beard

Dec 18, 2012

Night Run

Cut this clip a year ago, a winter night run through my 'hood.  There is extra ordinary in everyday life.  You just have to search a little.  And be in shape.




-Beard

Dec 16, 2012

C

Pigtails' mother was diagnosed with brain cancer five years ago.  Chemo and radiation shrunk the tumors and hogtied the cancer into remission.  She did well after that, went back to work and felt fine for a long time.

Cancer is patient, deceiving, relentless.  It hides for ages and tricks the host into thinking they've won.  Even as it quietly comes back stronger, bulking up and resisting the same treatment that worked before.

Leo

The neighbor behind me has a chocolate lab named Leo.  It started one day when Leo grabbed his ball in the jaw and flopped it over the fence.  As soon as I picked it up, his stubby tail wagged double-time.  He wanted to fetch.

Now each time I pull into the driveway or if Leo spots me through the back window making dinner, he grabs his ball and barks, tail a blur, begging to play. 



-Beard

Dec 12, 2012

Interview with Pigtails - Cut the Coffee, Kid

It's been ages since our last Interview with Pigtails, so tonight we fired up the circa 1980s shoulder-mounted camcorder.  She's excited, imagine if she drank coffee:



Leave your questions for Pigtails in the comments, she'll get back with a video response soon.

-Beard

Dec 10, 2012

Colon Lamp Lady, FTW


Bethany, a.k.a. colon lamp lady, took the win on the IKEA LED freebie with this:



The thread went downhill fast from there, somehow we ended with adult bedwetters and a pregnant man named Josh:

Dec 9, 2012

Sally Snags Seashells Along Sarasota's Seashore

Curls, Pigtails and I lazy looped Florida last August.  Here's the 3rd and final leg of our trip, a warm slog along the sugar Gulf coast. 



Drive
Time for the St. Auggie exodus.  Were were bummed about leaving, could've happily gotten stuck there for another week without phoning for rescue.  But Sarasota and the Gulf of Mexico were calling out, the white-powder sand and 90 degree sea tugging us towards with her tractor beam.

4 hours to go



Dec 4, 2012

Follower Freebie ~ JANSJÖ Jackpot!

B&P plus Curls did a recon' mission on Twin Cities IKEA over the weekend.  The Svedish water closets have fancy multi-select thrones that save whales:

    Mode 1 is stingy on water for the mellow yellow
    Mode 2 releases a torrent for the Big Deuce

Curls came out laughing, apparently Pigtails was confused by the two choices and asked, "but what button do you press if you have diarrhea, shouldn't there be a number 3?"

It was funny at the time, probably not so much if you're polishing off a greasy meatball marinara while reading this.