A mom's 18-point contract spelling the rules for her teen's new iPhone went viral in recent days. She mostly received praise from parents for enforcing responsible smartphone use by her son.
I think handing over an iPhone to a teen is a bad idea.
Pigtails, here are 18 reasons why you won't have a smartphone when you're a teen.
What do you think? Comments or vote in the poll up top.
-Beard
I think handing over an iPhone to a teen is a bad idea.
Pigtails, here are 18 reasons why you won't have a smartphone when you're a teen.
- If dad gets by okay without a smartphone, so can you.
- Plans are $70 a month. That's $3360 in four years of high school. I can think of a lot better ways to spend $3360 than on a phone. Like college, my retirement, new ears or a family trip to Europe.
- 20% of kids admit to sexting photos. Imagine the percentage if you factor in those that don't fess up.
- 40% of teens admit to sexting explicit messages.
- Online reputation is important today. It will be even more so in 10 years. A stupid mistake made by a kid now lives on the web forever. Your future employer will find it with a simple Google search.
- You're in school to learn, not to exchange 4,050 texts a month (average for girls).
- If you need the Internet for research, you may use a school or home computer out in the open. Letting junior rip on the web alone with a phone is a basket of disaster.
- Teens with smartphones are annoying. Go to any public spot where herds congregate, noses pressed to palm, you'll agree.
- If you bust an iPhone, the replacement cost is $600. You don't have $600. #nuffsaid
- Nearly 50% of all teens with smartphones are sexually active. Teens with 'net access on their phone are twice as likely to engage in sex with a stranger.
- "Everyone else is doing it" is a weak argument for going with the flow.
- Many kids today have an attitude of entitlement. I will not fuel this attitude in you.
- If you want a smartphone, you pay for it. However, you won't want to, since I'll teach you saving and investing are important, spending $3360 on a phone is not. Most income earned as a teen will funnel into your college 529 plan.
- Cell phones are not allowed at the high school you'll be enrolled at.
- Smartphone check-ins using Foursquare, Facebook and Twitter allow creepy perps to track your whereabouts.
- Teens driving cars is dangerous, much more so while texting.
- Parents, do a quick search on the Snapchat app, its popularity with teens and them naively believing the uncouth photos they snap are temporary.
- Pigtails, dad loves you and knows it's best if you don't have a smartphone until you're older and ready for it. Trust me on this one.
What do you think? Comments or vote in the poll up top.
-Beard
Totally agree with you -- our 16 year old has a plain jane cell phone that we pay an extra $10 a month for. She knows that she has it for OUR convenience, not for her enjoyment. It has actually been a nice bit of leverage here and there when attitudes get a bit wonky. ;)
ReplyDeleteWhat, teen girls never cop an attitude*?
Delete*Riiight.
I got my first cell phone at 16 (it wasn't a smartphone, but a flip phone that could connect to the internet & I did text on it). My mom thought it was a must when I was driving. We lived by a lot of country roads that can be bad in the winter (you know Iowa roads...). I had to pay for the monthly plan and I never got in trouble with my phone, I always got into trouble on the computer. My mom's policy was "I can and will check it at anytime".
ReplyDeleteI think banning a phone is kind of silly, just put rules on it. Make her pay for the plan when she gets a job and starts driving.
WHAT, YOUR MOM THOUGHT IT A MUST TO TEXT WHILE DRIVING!? Just kidding, in the situation of a teen driving on lonely country roads, a simple phone is probably a safe bet.
DeleteAll valid reasons...and not just that - but good too! I know my girl, and my boy, will have phones - but at this point, I don't see the value in a 'smart' phone for a teen. A basic phone should do...heck....'WHEN I WAS A KID.................'
ReplyDeleteI'll soon be in the minority, within a couple years over 50% of teens will have smartphones. Tremendous pressure from my daughter for one when she's that age, can't wait.
DeleteWhen I was a kid, we played phone with two paper cups coupled together with string.
Three comments. First, I agree. Second, what on earth do these young kids need with a cell anyway? Seriously. Third, while your kid may follow the rules, the truth is other kids will not. You're opening your kid up to potential mayhem. Plus, ask most any teacher and they'll boldly tell you what they think of cell phones. Bravo Beard!
ReplyDeleteYour third point is my main one. While I think there's a fair chance my daughter would use a smartphone responsibly, she'd have zero control over, say, a lewd photo arriving by someone else via text, e-mail or Snapchat.
DeleteI work with the high school youth at church and most of them cannot interact without their smartphones in their hands. Kudos to you Beard!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I love that you have the same phone we had when I was a kid with the super long cord. I remember having to dangle the receiver and let it spin to get all the kinks out of the chord.
Maybe they are reading the Bible on their smartphones?
DeleteWe dug that old phone out of the playroom tonight for the photo. It does bring back the memories, mom and her coiled 40 foot phone cord. She could reach any room in the house with that thing, wireless before wireless existed.
Beard, I have to admit that I think you're a little harsh sometimes, but I agree with you on this one. My husband and I don't have smartphones. We use the free-after-rebate Verizon phones with a very basic plan because we can't stand the thought of paying hundreds every month on phone plans. When are we ever more than 10 steps away from a computer at work or at home? And I have yet to find myself stuck in a situation on the road in which a data plan would have saved the day. Who knows what kind of phones will exist by the time our (future) children are teenagers, but it's going to be a tough sell in our family.
ReplyDeleteAgree, I use a crusty 7-year-old flip phone, simply because the monthly plan is cheap and hasn't gone up in that time. No texting plan on it, so I get charged with each incoming text. My favorite is when someone texts me, I text back "please call so I don't get charged," and they text back "Okay." #20cents
DeleteI agree, too. And I have many years until my kid is a teen. There will be something else by then. I don't have and don't want a smartphone. It feels good, no GREAT, to not be connected all the time. I think that some people don't know how to be "alone" anymore.
ReplyDeleteThat's true, I can't wait to get out of the city and into green Iowa countryside, away from humans.
DeleteBravo Beard! I went over to the link to read it before I read the rest of your post and my mouth nearly hit the floor when she said her son was only 13 and then that he 'deserved' it. Come on. I do think her intentions and a lot of the rules were a great conversation starter to have with kids though (ie. anything you do on the internet will be around for a very long time). I am on board with resisting the smart phones. My 10 year old daughter asked if she could have a phone when she was 11 (she goes to some activities where she could potentially use it to call me if needed but that is stretching the 'need') because all her cousins did. I told her I had an old flip phone in the drawer somewhere that I would consider buying a prepaid card for...maybe. Her response? 'I was thinking more along the lines of a Samsung Galaxy'. I am surprised you didn't hear me laughing from Minnesota.
ReplyDeleteCome off it, handing over the keys of a smartphone to a 13-year-old is stupid. Nothing good's coming out of that one, but I can think of at least 18 reasons not to go there. That's $5,000 in monthly fees through age 18.
DeleteI hope parents are as eager investing in college 529 plans as they are in smartphone monthly fees. Hint hint, mom and dad, you probably want a few tens of thousands (at least) saved up by the time they're 18 to help get precious started in college.
Since people are willing to pay thousands $$ in monthly fees over the years, I purchased stock in Verizon and some others.
I think I agree...with you...for Pigtails.
ReplyDeleteThere were no smartphones when my Oldest was a teen. He bought his himself in his 20's. Ditto for Middle.
Youngest was a different matter - highly sensitive to rules, I never worried about him having one. It was never on at school and he was not involved in social networking till this year (college) and can make his own rules.
One caveat - he has a medical condition that has often required him contacting me immediately via text. It may very well have saved his life. But that's a special circumstance that Pigtails need not concern herself with.
Great, now Pigtails will read your note, fake a special circumstance and I'm toast.
DeleteShe'll never get away with it...she's too honest and sweet.
DeleteI don't think kids/teens need smartphones either but what about an ipod touch? It does all the same things and you already have one. I'm sure she'll need email for school, even the simplest of phones has texting on it and it's just as easy to sign up for a text free account on the internet. With a good head on her shoulders, it doesn't really matter what phone she has.
ReplyDeletePigtails does play games on my iTouch sometimes, Diner Dash and Stack the States. Sometimes she messages Curls and her cousin, that's the extent of her use.
DeleteMy punk will use a home laptop out in the open for e-mail and 'net use when she's older vs. unrestricted access alone in her room. Read up on the Snapchat app.
I got my first cell phone in middle school to share with my siblings. We all had them by high school but I didn't get a smart phone until college. Now I can't live without it for work but I also hate paying for it. My brother (17) finagled his way to a smart phone earlier on but uses it primarily for being annoying. He had an ipod touch before though which he also got for a Christmas present. My sister also got one in exchange for her Christmas present one year. However, even sans smart phones, we got in trouble for texting obscene amounts (back when they were 10 cents each, those added up). And I disagree with #10 because I think the LA school district is really different from where I grew up but nonetheless, still a scary statistic!
ReplyDeleteThe sexting stats scare me.
DeleteWhile I doubt my kid would distribute photos of her junk, I'd worry about incoming 'where the sun don't shine' snaps and messages from others. She'll have a better chance of an untarnished online reputation if she's monitored through the growing years.
Both of my teens have smartphones (believe it or not their iPhones were free and the plan, after everything was figured in, was cheaper than going with non-smartphones). With the oldest driving to school, church and work every day and the youngest's swim schedule, it's a lifesaver. The ability to get in touch with either son at any time (school not included) brings peace to this mama's soul. We've put very strict limitations on what they can and cannot do with them and they're good, responsible boys.
ReplyDeleteBasically, I do believe it all boils down to teaching your children responsibility and having a very open and frank relationship with them. If you're doing your job as a parent to raise Pigtails right (which I firmly believe that you are, based on everything I've read), then you won't have to worry as much about her making poor decisions. Remember, kids that want to do something that their parents don't approve of are going to do so with or without the aid of technology.
Basic prepaid cell plans are $15 a month ($180/yr). Around here, I haven't seen smartphone plans less than $70 a month ($840/yr) on a 2-yr contract. Are you able to get smartphone plans for less than $180 a year?
DeleteI have less of a problem with plain jane cells for teens than smartphones, big difference there. I don't assume that a 13-year-old is mature enough to handle a smartphone, regardless of how they are raised.
Beard - I think you're DEAD ON BALL ACCURATE (5 points and a high five if you can name that movie). I got my first phone when I was 15. And it was JUST A PHONE. Literally could make just phone calls. My parents were smart enough to disable and "child-proof" the phone so I couldn't text or go on the internet (even if I wanted to).
ReplyDeleteNow that I'm older, and little wiser, I have an iPhone (because I actually paid for it with hard-earned money), and I'm finding that I don't really need half the crap that it allows me to do. I'm thankful I'm not like the kids/teens/adults I see these days...sitting at the dinner table with their parents and famillies, and they're all playing Words With Friends, or screwing around on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram. I'm pretty sure if they were forced to have an ACTUAL conversation, they wouldn't know how... all you would get would be "ummmmmm....".
So cheers to you! Give her one of those trak-phones...LOL, and good luck!! :)
Cousin Vinny? I cheated.
DeleteI'm going to market an ugly 1990s-era shoulder mounted cell for parents of teens. Sort of the orthodontic headgear of the cell phone world.
That's fine - you still get a high five :)
DeleteAnd definitely market that - I would buy my (hypothetical) kid that. DEFINITELY.
Completely agree. My college kid still doesn't have a smartphone. Our agreement is that he may have one when he pays for it himself.
ReplyDeleteI provided him a similar list to that mom's when he got a plain old cell phone - which was only issued when he got to an age where he went places without me, and I was clear that the phone was being provided for my convenience and not his.
That being said, I love my iPhone. But I'm grown. :)
I'm addicted to my iPad, that big retina-screened mother is sweet.
DeleteI think you're right, but be careful. It's important to give kids enough freedom while they're young so that they can learn how to behave responsibly and make good decisions on their own while they're still ultimately under your watchful eye. If you control her too much while she's in high school, you may end up with a pretty rebellious college kid on your hands.
ReplyDeleteI'm certain that no kid in the history of mankind has turned rebellious in college because their parents didn't buy them a smartphone in high school. But many do rebel for missing non-tangibles from their folks, like love, discipline or attention. I give Pigtails all of these in spades, so I'm not worried she'll be rebellious.
DeleteShe'll learn how to behave responsibly without a device.
Right on, Beard!! We are having our first kiddo, and naturally we are talking about how kids (even 1 to 3 yr olds) these days have cell phones, iPod touches, Nintendo DS's, Kindle's, Nooks, etc. It's insane. We plan on encouraging our boy's imagination and ability to entertain himself with books, puzzles, forts, etc!
ReplyDeletePeople are trained up from young sprouts to expect to be constantly entertained. That's why minivans have multi-screen DVDs playing Pixar flicks and snot tiny nosed tots banging on Nintendo handhelds.
DeleteMy brat and I make a deliberate, focused effort each day for quiet family time. Dinner at the table with no distractions, we talk in the car on long trips or play 'I Spy', Othello and card games nearly every night. Some might think this is boring, but we think others are missing out...
STICK WITH IT. The pressure to cave in and get her one cause everyone else has one will be HUGE. We launched our last (of 6) sans phone. He bought his first one hiimself (at 21). I have a niece that was given a smart phone when she was 6!!!! Tons of drama has followed. It doesn't hurt a kid one bit to be the one with a crazy, strict parent.
ReplyDeleteI'm a tough/boring motha, bring it.
DeleteAge 6, really?
AMEN. I just got my first smartphone at 31 years old. My son can get his own after high school. On his dime, of course.
ReplyDeleteLinking to this post on my blog for sure.
Digging the link, thanks, um, Gazelle/Wildebeest?
DeleteNice. Old school. If you are considering giving a smart phone to a teen, I like the other lady's approach... seems like a good idea to have those rules. I think you are bth right. What is right for one person, may not be right for another. Was this a contest? Did I win?
ReplyDeleteM
You win a 7-year-old flip phone.
DeleteRespectfully disagree, but figured I'd comment just to rep the other side. My son is 12 and has an iPhone 4 that we got for $50 when they were trying to get rid of them. He needed a phone, (needed, imo), and we weren't going to do much better than $50.
ReplyDeleteEveryone spends their money how they choose to. I guess I feel like a lot of times I feel like I'm being judged because I choose to spend my money that way. You're saying that 3360 is a lot of money to spend over the course of high school...to me, that's not a lot to spend to be able to have that peace of mind.
The questions from the non-parents, or the parents of younger kids, as to why a kid that young would need a phone make me laugh, because I, too, wondered that just 3 years ago. Kid was never anywhere without me, do you know how old i was when i got my first cell phone (23), etc. But truth is, the kid is a lot of places without me now. Does he need a smartphone? No, probably not. But here's a funny story. Yesterday he had to tag along with me to an activity for his sister, and then we were going skiing, gonna be home late. Poor planning on our part, but he didn't have his math textbook with him while he waited for his sis to be done. Kid got his textbook website up on the iPhone and did his homework.
Long comment, just to say that everyone has their own road and I don't think it's fair to say that just because a kid has a smartphone means that they won't be able to have a conversation, will be glued to it, will use it irresponsibly, etc.
The upfront cost of smartphones is irrelevant, you can get them for free these days. The monthly contract is where they rake the dough, $8,400 over ten years. The iPhone 4 you bought your son has a replacement cost of $600 if destroyed.
DeletePeace of mind through constant-connect can be had for $15 a month with a basic prepaid cell phone. That's a lot more economical way to stay in touch than $70 a month data plan. Without any of the risks that come with unmonitored web access.
What advantage do you see in a smartphone for a 12-year-old that you don't get with a cell phone?
I'm shoveling monthly fees into Pigtails' 529 college savings plan.
Wah! I just typed a whole reply and it got lost:( I have to get back to work but the gist of it was that I could take buckets of my own money and dump it out the window of a moving train, and I have every right to do so. You can say "That's not something I'm interested in doing." and move on without judging.
DeleteEveryone parents differently, and while I can sit here and explain how he's not getting a free ride with his iphone and that he does contribute towards the bill, which is my way of trying to teach him financial responsibility, I think that misses the point, which is that we all do it our own way and one is not better than the other; just different.
I feel like your post, and then especially your last line of your response to me, implies that you think you're right and I'm wrong, end of story. Just because you're shoveling money into her 529 doesn't mean that i'm not ALSO doing that, yet that's the tone it carries.
A smart phone? Yes, it makes sense to let your kid foot the bill for that. But giving your teen a phone with text capability is a great tool for parents. If Pigtails was ever in a situation she needed to leave it would be much easier for her to send you a text discretely than to make a phone call (e.g. friend (or other parent even) who is supposed to drive her home has been drinking; uncomfortable about where things are going on a date, etc.)
ReplyDeleteWe always told our kids that they could always text us to CALL THEM NOW. "What? You need me to come home? But Dad!!" (Knowing that coming home now is exactly what they wanted to do). There are also no excuses for being late, or not keeping in touch about where they are.
I also agree with the points raised by Sotto Voce. You are raising a good girl. She will still be a good girl as a teen. Yes, she will make some mistakes; but I am confident that you will have instilled in her enough good sense that she won't be sexting.
The math doesn't add up for having a 16-year-old pay for a smartphone and plan.
DeleteKids will have to work 12 hours a month to pay for their data. I'm not a fan of high schoolers working more than 15 hours a week, and mine will channel most of her paycheck towards college.
I'll toy with the idea of a basic cell phone when she's in high school. Less sure about texting, a smartphone is a no-go.
Parents seem to provide the most extreme examples to support providing their kids with smartphones and texting, yet often gloss over the ugly data. Like 4,000 texts on average per month by teens, and 4 out of 10 of them are sexting.
Confused by your reply. I agree a smart phone doesn't make financial sense for teens. You don't need a smart phone for texting. Most parents of teens (it looks like a lot of responses are from parents of young children) have unlimited texting plans -- so basically, it's about $10.00/month for a phone with unlimited texting for your teen. My kids (17, 20, 21 -- all in school, all contribute to their plans) text a lot, but nowhere near 4,000 per month. One reason the text number is so high is that kids often group text. A response of "K" to a text telling 5 kids to meet at the movies at 7:30 is counted as 5 texts. And the sexting thing? Maybe I'm naive, but we TALK WITH our kids about these kinds of things. They understand how stupid and dangerous it is, and how stupid and dangerous it is to post anything on facebook they wouldn't want their grandmother or future boss to see.
DeleteBeing reasonable as parents seems to have worked well for us. Our kids have certainly made mistakes, but all three are genuinely good, tender-hearted young people, who are all on the right track. 21 didn't get a phone until he was driving, 20 and 17 got theirs when they started high school.
The bottom line is that we, as parents, need to be actively involved in our children's upbringing, and make responsible, well-informed decisions. You will know what to do when the time comes.
Sounds like you have a solid plan in place, hope I make it through the teen years alive as you have.
DeleteThere is no question in my mind on this one: you are dead on right. My parents had a lovely daughter who they could trust, got good grades, was "close" with them. My mom believed she was my best friend. I love my parents deeply, but holy bejeez were they naive. I did stuff like go on road trips for the weekend WITH THEIR CAR when they believed I was at a church lock in. I'm sorry, but no matter how good a kid seems, a child is a child, and is capable of all kinds of no good! I can't believe the dangerous, illegal, foolish things I did as a teen. My parents had no idea. I made it out unscathed, but believe me, I will not be the naive parent mine were! Computer in family rooms with time limits and monitoring, no smart phones, and so on. Geez, I even figured out how to go around our home security system so my parents wouldn't know I snuck out at night. And don't get me started on sex and birth control. Sigh. My poor, poor parents.
ReplyDeleteHoly smoke.
DeleteI am with you. I taught high school (been out 6 years after having my son) and even then it was crazy what I would see on kids phones --- and that was before the "smartphone" era. I'm always surprised by the idea that cell phones are a "must" for kids - school threats, needing to be picked up from school, etc being cited as the reasons for their necessity. When I was a kid, I could wait until I got home from school to tell my mom about my day and the not so great thing that happened to me. When I was teaching, kids were always going to the "bathroom" .... but really calling mom. I think it is great that we have options to communicate with people but I do wonder about the youth today not developing self-reliance. We also stood in a line and called when we were ready or mom was there at dismissal time and if she had to wait for the bus to make it back to town from the game, she did it. Without complaining.
ReplyDeleteYou also made a great point in that even if your daughter is responsible and careful, she won't be able to control other teens who send her inappropriate stuff. And no matter how great and well-adjusted a teenager is, it's just brain science that they lack impulse control.
I can't even imagine what it will be like in 10 years when my little guy is sixteen. And I'll throw in here at the end that he won't have a computer in his room or a tablet that he takes out of the living room or a TV in his room either. I'm totally okay with being a "mean mom".
Thank you for the note, it's good to hear from someone that's worked the trenches.
DeleteI can't figure out if parents really want their kids to have smartphones or the kids pressure them into it or something else is going on. Are mom and dad insecure and worry their teen won't fit in without one? Or perhaps their kid will 'hate' them if they don't go with the flow?
On cost alone, unless people are wealthy, paying $3,600 over four years for a kid to have a data plan seems odd. Let's run the numbers, the average cost today of a college 4 year degree is $5,000 a year at state or $25,000 a year private. You know how much the average household saves for college each year...drum roll...$2,600.
http://thechoice.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/09/16/savings-survey/
Makes sense to me to invest that $3,600 in a 529 savings plan.
You nailed it, even well behaved, responsible teens raised in a good home with rules and are at the core immature children learning the ropes of life. With strong hormones and peer pressure feeding some seriously fickle impulses.
I love point 8! Have most teens forgotten what it’s like to be a real person and engage with the person sitting next to them without sending them a text or facebooking them? Seriously, I think we are going to create a generation that has no idea how to interact with each other without a screen in front of their faces. Not to mention the damage already done to written communication and grammar.
ReplyDeleteRobots, all of them.
DeleteI'm one of the people who helped the 18-point contract you're referring to go viral, because I thought it was very insightful. Does that mean that my kids will have smartphones in the next couple of years? No, because I don't think that it's necessary to pay for the expense or to court some of the dangers that you call out. However, some of the author's comments apply to ANY kind of phone that a kid might have... and many of them apply to ANYONE who has a smartphone, regardless of whether they're 15 or 50.
ReplyDeleteSome people will use the "I-didn't-have-it-when-I-was-growing-up" argument for things like this, but that ignores the fact that society changes and we must be able to evolve with it. Do I think that my kids should have to send thousands of texts a month? No. Do I think that they should do things just because their friends do it? No. However, do I think that it is important for my kids to be able to relate to and build relationships with kids their own age? Yes, I do. And the reality is that today's youth don't do that only through face-to-face communication. They do it through phone calls and, even more, texting. We've allowed our 11-year-old son to set up an account on his iPod Touch that allows him to FaceTime and text with two of this best friends. The result? Their friendships have become much stronger and they spend more time together -- both via technology AND in person, because through more frequent communication they have become even better friends than they were before. I firmly believe that there are real dangers from these technologies such as you have called out. I also firmly believe that the right answer to that as a parent is not to shelter our children from them to the point that they aren't able to effectively participate in the society that they live in, it's to do our best to educate them about the real dangers.
In talking to many parents who have older children who we greatly respect and who have raised exceptional young people, we've also heard about the value of being able to call/text with you child in maintaining parent/child communication. For example, a teen is much more likely to text you about what their plans are when they're out with their friends than they are to call you, because their friends won't be able to tell that they're talking to Mommy/Daddy.
So, smartphones for my teenagers? Not likely. Inexpensive texting phones within the next few years? Absolutely.
I liked the mom's contract, and agree with most of what she has on there. Where it gets wonky is then handing over the keys of an iPhone to a 13-year-old. It's like she has this list of responsibility for her kid, then acts irresponsible herself.
DeletePigtails uses my iTouch to message Curls and her cousin, and she most likely will be helping blog here soon. I love technology, don't intend to ban her from it, but we gotta be careful.
The the cell phone/text thing will come to a head soon. Open to a basic cell, unsure about the texting thing yet.
Just realized my poll wording up top isn't good, should have been this:
Smartphone
Cell and Text
Cell Only
None
Undecided
I teach third grade in a low-income area. The number of my students that have phones is ridiculous. I get the shakes just thinking about it. Your kid can't read, you don't interact with them, let's just throw a phone at them and call it good.
ReplyDeleteMy boyfriend's kiddos stayed with us for Christmas this year - they are 18 & 14. Neither of them have anything besides a prepaid "emergency" phone that they share. We did a ton of fun stuff together, played board games at night, and my boyfriend let them borrow his phone for about thirty minutes a day to talk to friends. It was so nice to not have them attached to a phone.
I agree completely with all of yours reasons. As much as you can talk to your child about being responsible and as much as they can be responsible, I don't think having a smartphone for a teenager is worth the potential risks it involves. Responsible teenagers are still teenagers and kids are always into more stuff than the parents know. Better to draw the line on the side of caution.
ReplyDeleteAlso, #15 reminded me of this article.
Thanks for the article, youcher.
DeleteAs a college-aged kid in an ever-growing world, I have to say... I'm glad my mom waited to give me my first phone. And that was certainly not a smartphone. I didn't get my first smartphone until about a year ago, and I'm glad that I waited on that as well. It helps me to really appreciate how valuable it is, but I also learned to live life without it before it was "too late!"
ReplyDeleteMy parents require me and my sisters (those with smartphones) to pay for our portion of the data plan. The girls without smartphones don't pay, but those that do, do. Even when we don't live in the house anymore. It's frustrating at times when I look at all my spoiled-brat friends but I know that I'm learning a valuable lesson (somehow) and I appreciate my parents for that.
I see what you're saying. I also see someone who has no idea what the deeply scary world of women is like, Nevermind of teenage girls. When I was a teenager, there was always that girl (or two) who's parents wouldn't let her watch TV, have a phone (or heck even use a phone). I always felt bad for them cut off from the world and what was what. They were always isolated and ostracized. Unfortunately those girls were the biggest targets. They never fit in, so they'd always try even harder to impress and ended up making the most mistakes, sleeping with all the losers and being the butt of every joke. Of course unbeknownst to their parents. Not saying a smartphone will stop this from happening...but you can't cage a bird you expect to fly one day. Plus, I think a big problem with teens these days is that they're treated like large children. My parents had us have jobs and the rule was we saved 50%, and could spend the other on whatever we liked. I got a phone. (No smart phones back then). I talked to my friends. I called my parents to pick me up from work. I paid my cell bill on my own. I never posted naked pics because I had parwnts who raised me well and taught me that was a bad idea without even having to say so. Trust her to make the right decisions.
ReplyDeleteSo what we are saying is Pigtails will rebel and is going goth in 3...2..1...
DeleteI agree with some of what you said, although we have very different parenting styles.
ReplyDeleteI have a question. You say you will have Pigtails pay for her own smartphone if she wants one in Point 13, and then say most of her money she earns will go towards a college plan. Are you going to dictate where 100% of her earned money goes? Or are you saying, X amount must go towards college, the rest is yours. Just wondering what your thoughts are.
I cut my paycheck into three slices of pie.
DeleteThe majority of income, over 50%, goes into savings.
The second slice is spent on daily expenses, house and bills.
The third and smallest slice goes towards charity, tithing and gifts.
The above has worked out well for me, I don't see any reason why it won't for my daughter. Assuming she works 10 or 12 hours a week in high school, it's unlikely she'll have enough pie left for $70 a month phone.
Makes sense. Thanks for your reply. I look forward to a day when I am done paying student loans and can save more than I pay off! Glad to hear you will teach her about tithing early on too.
DeleteMy daughter got a phone in 8th grade, she did not, however, get a smart phone until she had graduated high school --- and then it was a combo graduation/birthday present -- the phone itself was free, so the data plan was the cost incurred in this present. Eighteen, good grades, playing varsity athletics and holding a part time job.... well, I felt she had demonstrated the responsibility required. So far she hasn't let me down.
ReplyDeleteI'm catching this a few months late, but I assume you're still taking poll responses. My vote is a cell with texting. You're the parent, and it's up to you to make the best decisions for your kid. I got a cell phone that was calling with the ability to text when I was 16 and driving, but I literally had to cough up 20 cents for every text, so I just told my friends that my phone couldn't receive them! It was nice, however to know that I had the option to text. I agree with a comment up there that said it was great to have if your kid ever got stuck in an awkward situation. A flare- "Dad come get me now." We didn't have smartphones when I was in HS, and I didn't get one until I was married and moved onto my husband's plan. I think with driving (only for breakdowns/emergencies- I'm very much against texting while driving and my future kids will not be talking while driving either!) and sports and school activities and emergencies, a cell phone is a smart idea. My parents didn't trust my younger sister with anything but a prepaid phone for a while (no insane charges), but I suppose it depends on your kid, your rules, and how it all shakes out. Good luck!
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