Jun 22, 2013

American Girl and Hospice

Pigtails headed up to the Twin Cities recently with her mom, mom's boyfriend and Aunt Angie (mom's sister) for a week of indulging in American Girl Dolls and other hooligan activities.

They arrived in Minneapolis on Monday.  By Tuesday, her mom's healthy soured quickly.  She was losing the ability to move her right side, and she couldn't see.  Angie called hospice to help at the hotel.  Her mom wasn't able to get out of the room, but Pigtails and Aunt had a good time on her birthday at the American Girl store.  She's 11 now, you know.

As the week progressed and her mom wasn't improving, Pigtails asked Aunt some hard questions.  This one was painful:

"Aunt Ee Ee, will my mom die when I'm 11 or 12?"

"Well, we don't know when, but it could be when you are 11."

She buried her head in Angie and bawled.

No kid should have to ask that question.  No 37-year-old mother should have to go through this. Pigtails continues with that sweet demeanor.  Except in the mornings, then her eyeballs fire hot lasers.

A decision was made on the Twin Cities trip that her mom would not return to Des Moines.  Instead, she moved into hospice in Ottumwa to be closer to her parents.  It's 90 minutes from DSM, we drove halfway there this morning to meet grandma so Pigtails can be with mom this weekend.  Grandma said there isn't a lot of time left for her mom to be able to communicate and stay awake.  

We're keeping the summer open so she can visit on weekends and ad hoc when needed.  I share this stuff with strangers on the blog, but most of the people I'm around at work every day have no idea what's going on.

-Beard    

22 comments:

  1. Thinking of Pigtails and Beard at this challenging time. I can't imagine how hard it is for both of you. Hugs from an Iowa daughter in Ohio.

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  2. Thinking about all of you. I lost my mom 9 years ago and it's still so difficult. I pray for strength for all of you.

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  3. Praying for your family during this time. There's not much else I can say, except I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability with a bunch of strangers. Even though we have never met, I feel a sense of kinship, and pray for peace as you deal with the coming weeks.

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    1. Thanks, Colon Lamp Lady.

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  4. Oh! Just, thinking of you all and hope that this time doesn't overshadow all the other good times, that are the memories that must be carried on for life. I hope that at least sharing with some strangers, gives you the strength and support you need to take you & 'tails forward to the "other side" of this current place in your lives.

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  5. Oh, so hard. There is nothing to say that can make anything better of course but my thoughts are with you both. I will send virtual hugs for you all but Pigtails especially.

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  6. I think of you often...

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  7. michele double you6/23/2013

    Heartbreaking, heart rending, heart aching.

    I think it less of a burden to share these things here (which seems to be a very supportive community, less the occasional anonymous comment), than to absorb reactions from those whom you have to face. Who wants that attention, those comments, the sighs and touches and tones in the voices?

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  8. Oh Beard, hoping for good visits for your girl while it's still possible.
    This week would have been dad's birthday, so I pinked a tear on my blog as well. Why? Easier to write about these things than talk about it?

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  9. I'm so very sorry. I'm glad that you have a place to release some of your thoughts. Prayers for all of you.

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  10. Ugh. I hate that she (and you) has to go through this. I really, really hate it.

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  11. My heart hurts for Pigtails. I'm sorry she is going through this so early in her life. I hope her Mom does not suffer.

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  12. Oh my, my heart breks for Pigtails. Somethingn so though to go through at such a young age! I also feel deeply for her mum. It sucks so bad. I'm so very sorry for all of you.

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  13. Praying for you both. Happy Birthday as well! I'm so glad Pigtails is hanging with the neighbors and enjoying fun activities.

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  14. My heart aches for little Pigtails, as she navigates through life wondering how things could've been if her Mom were with her, of course for the big things, but mostly the little things, like just being able to spend birthdays together. I pray for your family as you help Pigtails cope with this experience. You're a good Dad and she's so lucky to have you. Sending peaceful and loving thoughts your way.

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  15. Prayers for Pigtails, and you as you help her navigate waters no 11 year old should have to navigate.

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  16. Thoughts and prayers with you all- this is tough for anyone to deal with... never mind a newly 11 year old :(

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  17. Thanks for the nice words, I'll let my daughter know you B&Pers are thinking about her.

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  18. DSMama6/27/2013

    Those of us readers who are lucky enough to work with you see you smiling every day. How you do this with everything going on in your personal life is amazing. Don't be afraid to let others in though. I personally don't ask at work because I'm not sure if it is approporiate so I read your blog for updates. Thinking of you all and sending support. I know I speak for most (if not all) of your co-workers when I say that we are here for you if you need us - just give a nudge.

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    1. Back at you Mama, G8's got my back.

      You ready to ride in t-minus 3 weeks?

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